Category Archives: Government

Government, International, Travel

Ninoy Aquino International Airport To Get A Serious, Comprehensive Facelift

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Honrado
Honrado

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – It’s been one mishap after another. The problems encountered by Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) just won’t stop — collapsed ceiling, laglag bala, passenger suicides, airconditioning breakdowns, power outage, you name it.

These mishaps have prompted Manila International Airport Authority (MIAA)  General Manager Jose Angel Honrado to declare a state of “bad luck” for NAIA, especially Terminal 3.

But relief will come soon to the thousands of airline passengers that go through the seemingly doomed airport every single day.

With the approval of President NoyNoy Aquino and Transportation Secretary Joseph Emilio Abaya, Honrado said a very serious facelift will begin immediately at NAIA  to dispel whatever evil that’s been looming over the airport.

Honrado’s solution? Feng Shui. image

Among Honrado’s proposals:

1. Relocate all airport terminal windows that are facing west so that they face east instead

2. Replace all NAIA’s potted greens and flowers with fortune plants and curly bamboos

3. Build a water fountain inside each of NAIA’s three terminal buildings

4. Keep all  airport doors and windows open 24 hours so that the “bad luck” can escape and “good luck” can come in

5. Require all airport personnel to wear a lei of fresh garlic to drive away the evil spirits

6.  Ban food concessions from selling dinuguan (pork blood stew)

A Feng Shui expert has been hired and will begin work immediately.

Is this the beginning of the end for NAIA’s reputation as one of the worst airports in the world?

 

Government, International

Immigration: Homeland Security Releases New U.S. Citizenship Test Questions

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Photo credit: Flickr user gagliajn

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – Until yesterday, applicants for U.S. citizenship had to study 100 civics test questions from which the immigration officer will ask 10, and the applicants must answer at least 6 correctly.

Today, the Department of Homeland Security, through the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), released the new set of citizenship test questions – totalling 63.

Passing the citizenship exam will not be based on correct answers.  Rather, it will be based on a determination of whether the potential U.S. citizen is Authoritarian, Leftist, Rightist or Libertarian, as shown in the quadrants below:

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In order to pass the test, the applicant must at least fall somewhere in, or close to, the lower left quadrant — meaning that he or she must be closer to being a Leftist and Libertarian.

The new test questions were developed in consultation with top Republican and Democratic candidates for president, namely, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump and Ted Cruz.  They reflect the changing attitudes of Americans towards immigration and the war on terror.

Citizenship applicants are encouraged to review the new test questions before their scheduled interview.

HERE are the 63 test questions.

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Government, Human Interest, Politics

Ivana Trump Readying Lawsuit In Case Donald Trump Becomes President

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Ivana Trump
Ivana Trump

ST. TROPEZ, France (The Adobo Chronicles, Berlin Bureau) – As presidential candidate and frontrunner Donald Trump inches closer and closer to the Republican nomination, his ex-wife Ivana is preparing to file in a lawsuit in the event that Trump is elected president.

In her draft lawsuit, Ivana claims she should become First Lady if Trump becomes president.

Ivana is Trump’s first wife (1977-1992), followed by Marla Maples (1992-1999).  Trump is currently married to Ivanka Trump.

“That’s why it’s called ‘First Lady,’ ” Ivana told reporters in St. Tropez, ” a president cannot have his second or third wife to be First Lady.”

Ivana recently made the news for her statement saying that the U.S. needs immigrants to vaccuum Americans’ living rooms and clean up after them.

Ivana, herself an immigrant, was born in the Czech Republic. We doubt that she ever vaccumed an American living room.

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