Category Archives: Government

Hillary Will Appoint Trump U.S. Ambassador To The Philippines

October 16, 2016 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – It’s not all bad blood between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. When she assumes the U.S. presidency, Clinton says she will appoint Trump the U.S. ambassador to the Philippines.

The current U.S. ambassador, Philip Goldberg, is ending his three-year tour of duty in Manila this November.

“Trump would be the perfect choice to replace Goldberg. I am very confident he will get along very well with Philippine President Duterte” Clinton said.

(Duterte is often referred to as the Donald Trump of the Philippines and Trump has also been called the Duterte of America.)

Trump seems open to the idea, knowing that the Filipinos love beauty pageants.

“Perhaps during my tour of duty, I can take over the ownership of the Binibining Pilipinas Charities (Miss Philippines Charities) which has the local franchise for international beauty contests like Miss Universe and Miss International,” the Republican presidential candidate said.

“Then I can go back to barging into the dressing rooms of naked pageant contestants,” Trump added. “That would be so wonderful.”

Government, Politics

Trump Supporters Threaten To Form Own Republic

October 16, 2016 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

LAREDO, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) – You’ve heard it from the Trump supporters. If their candidate Donald loses the presidential election, they will stage a violent coup to oust President Hillary. So what happens next?

In a bold manifesto uncovered today by Wikileaks, Trumpeteers (a name Trump supporters are calling themselves) will establish a separate Republic with Donald as their president. The document has made reference to a Trump Republic.

The Trumpeteers acknowledge that even a coup will not win over the Hillarians to their side, so they have decided to form their own government instead.

It is believed that the Trump Republic will have its seat of power in Laredo, Texas, just a few miles from the U.S.-Mexico border.

When asked by The Adobo Chronicles why Laredo was chosen, the Trumpeteers said that it would make it easy for Donald and members of his government to escape to Mexico if push comes to shove.

Film and TV, Government, International, Language, Politics, Travel

Philippine President Duterte Was Serious When He Asked Obama ‘To Go To Hell’ But…

October 15, 2016 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – When Rodrigo Roa Duterte last week said that Barack Obama can “go to hell,” the Philippine president was dead serious. But what he said wasn’t offensive.

Duterte was merely extending an invitation to the U.S. President to come visit the Philippines, particularly Manila the capital.

You see, Manila was described by best-selling American author Dan Brown as “the gates of hell” in his latest novel ‘Inferno.’

So, Presidential Communications Secretary Martin Andanar said that “President Duterte was just using Brown’s description of Manila in inviting Obama to come visit again. (Obama was in the Philippines last year during the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation or APEC summit.)

“Duterte’s critics and the news media are just trying to sensationalize everything they hear from our president,” Andanar said. “If Obama was offended, he should complain to Dan Brown.”

Coincidentally, the film version of ‘Inferno’ is currently showing in theaters in the Philippines and Ron Howard’s new masterpiece makes no mention of Manila or the Philippines as “the gates of hell.”

Perhaps Howard didn’t want to further offend the Filipinos?