Manila, Philippines – Pork barrel has become a universally-accepted term for discretionary funds allocated to politicians to use for their local pet projects. But the term has a very bad reputation in the Philippines, thanks to a 10 Billion-peso scam that siphoned taxpayer money into fake non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and into the personal accounts of some business people and politicians.
The Philippine Senate is currently holding hearings to look into the alleged involvement of some of its members – Senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Ramon Revilla, Jr. It has cast a not -so-favorable image for the entire Senate.
So, in an attempt to diffuse the negative image brought forth by the pork barrel scandal, the Senate unanimously agreed to rename the Senate investigation to “Spam Tocino Hearings.” The idea came from Hormel Foods, U.S. manufacturer of Spam . Hormel recently came up with a limited edition of its popular canned meat, capitalizing on the popular Filipino cured pork called tocino.
Senate officials said that renaming the hearings would give their investigation some “stateside” flavor while promoting the ever popular Filipino breakfast fare tocino.
Filipino activists immediately criticized the Senate move, accusing the senators of whitewashing the investigation while perpetuating Filipino colonial mentality.
Incidentally, Spam Tocino is available on the Hormel Foods website for $3.00 a can plus shipping. Hormel can only ship to U.S. addresses.
Manila, Philippines –In his message to the Filipino people on Ash Wednesday – the beginning of Lent – Philippine Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle admonished the Catholic faithful to “fast and abstain not to be slim and sexy, and be charitable not to be popular.”
Many Catholics abstain from eating meat for 40 days during Lent in the spirit of sacrifice.
Responding to the cardinal’s appeal, Philippine legislators in both the Senate and House of Representatives unanimously agreed to give up pork for the next 4o days – pork barrel, that is.
The decision by the politicians couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time in view of the current legislative investigation of the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scandal which has linked several legislators to the scam of siphoning taxpayer money into fake non-govenmental organizations (NGOs) and into the pockets of certain businessmen and elected officials.
It wasn’t clear whether the politicians’ “abstinence” from pork will automatically be rescinded come Easter Sunday, the end of the Lenten season.
Hollywood, California (EXCLUSIVE to The Adobo Chronicles) –The still unnamed pizza delivery guy who brought three large pizzas to the Oscars last night is undoubtedly now the most famous pizza delivery guy not just in Hollywood but all over the world. But everyone is wondering whether or not he received the fat tip collected by Oscar host Ellen DeGeneres.
Well, he didn’t.
But he got something else. Television viewers will recall that earlier in the show, DeGeneres handed lottery tickets (scratchers) and a quarter to Oscar nominee Bradley Cooper (and presumably to others who didn’t win an Oscar).
The Adobo Chronicles learned that Cooper gave the lottery tickets to the pizza delivery guy. Upon his return to work after his delivery, the pizza guy scratched the tickets and one of them had a handsome prize waiting for him : $10,000!
It doesn’t end there. The pizza guy has been invited for a guest appearance this week in the Ellen Show and Oscar-winning director Martin Scorsese has offered him a meaty (read: pepperoni) role in one of his forthcoming films.
“He wore his baseball cap througout the televised pizza segment of The Oscars, but he is actually very good looking and has the star quality Hollywood is always looking for ” DeGeneres said of the pizza guy.
So the Hollywood legend continues: If you want to be in films in Hollywood, start by waiting on tables and tending bar. Or be a pizza delivery guy.