MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Malacañang Bureau) – In a bold move, President Bongbong Marcos fired Anti-Poverty Czar Larry Gadon, following the latter’s groundbreaking assertion that poverty in the Philippines is simply “a figment of the imagination” (haka-haka).
Gadon, recently disbarred, declared that the nation’s 18 million impoverished citizens are merely experiencing “an illusion,” arguing that shopping malls are crowded, fast-food restaurants are packed, and new cars are hitting the roads.
Marcos expressed disappointment, noting that while he admired Gadon’s creativity, he needed a Czar who acknowledged real problems. “We need solutions, not magical thinking,” Marcos said. Rumors suggest the next appointee might propose tackling poverty through positive affirmations and the power of positive thinking.
As the Philippine Senate and House of Representatives engage in their usual melodramas, one might wonder if they’ve forgotten the real struggles of ordinary Filipinos.
Instead of tackling issues like the leaked PDEA documents or the disastrous Rice Tariffication Law, they’re embroiled in political theater. While they pontificate, the average Pinoy is losing sleep over looming Meralco bills, blamed on everything from El Niño to the alignment of the stars.
Perhaps it’s time for Congress to pass a bill instituting installment payments for electric bills this month? But wait, that would be too sensible. Let’s keep the lights off and blame it on climate change! After all, what better way to distract from their own ineptitude than by pointing fingers at Mother Nature?
Until then, Filipinos can only hope that their candles last longer than their politicians’ attention spans.
Atty. Harry Roque’s recent assertion that rallying against China’s incursion into the South China Sea is merely a distraction from economic issues is as perplexing as it is revealing. It’s like suggesting we ignore a burglar in our house because catching them would disrupt our Netflix marathon.
By advocating this, Roque essentially proposes turning a blind eye to territorial violations in exchange for financial gain, akin to letting a bully steal our lunch money in return for a few crumbs from their table.
It’s a baffling logic that equates national sovereignty with the profitability of POGOs (Philippine Offshore Gaming Operators). Perhaps next, we’ll be advised to auction off our heritage sites to the highest bidder to balance the budget.
If Roque’s stance reflects the government’s strategic thinking, we might as well rename the country to the Republic of POGO-Land and be done with it.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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