Category Archives: Business

Business, International, Technology, The Media

THE ONION PROPOSES MERGER WITH THE ADOBO CHRONICLES

February 9, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Chicago, Illinois – America’s Finest News Source is proposing a merger with Your Source of Up-to-date Unbelievable News.

The Chicago-based The Onion has offered to absorb the international operations of the Silicon Valley-based The Adobo Chronicles for $2 Million. The Onion, which started its Internet operations in 1988, boasts of a monthly viewership of 11 Million. The Adobo Chronicles, on the other hand, started just nine months ago and is now enjoying an average monthly viewership of 1 Million.

Investors for The Onion see a great potential to increase its worldwide viewership by merging with The Adobo Chronicles.

The Adobo Chronicles has assembled a team of lawyers and investment analysts to study the merger proposal. The name of the merged company is obviously a sticky issue, with both media outlets wanting to retain their respective names. Ironically, the names of both companies have to do with food: onion being a widely-used vegetable for cooking and adobo being the national dish of the Philippines.

Negotiators on either side have, however, agreed on the tagline for the merged company: “Your Finest Source of Up-to-Date Unbelievable World News.” A great start in the negotiations.

Media mergers and buyouts are becoming more and more common but this proposed merger is different in that it has nothing to do with either company’s financial challenges. Rather it is seen as great potential for expansion and viewership.

Business, International, Sports, Technology

SOCHI TECHNICAL GLITCH PAVES WAY FOR THE HOTTEST T-SHIRT IN THE MARKET

February 7, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Sochi, Russia – It was meant to be truly spectacular – snow flakes exploding to form the five rings of the Olympic logo. Except that one snow flake, well, flaked and didn’t turn into the fifth Olympic ring.

It was one of the embarrassing moments of the Sochi Olympics opening ceremony.

But no worries, the technical glitch has resulted in a multi-million t-shirt business. Just minutes after the glitch unfolded on worldwide television, an enterprising Filipino produced and marketed a t-shirt bearing the botched Olympic rings image.

Internet orders of the t-shirt immediately came pouring in, resulting in a 30-day back order status, and assuring the entrepreneur earnings that would take him past his retirement age.

To register for the long waiting list for the t-shirt order, visit http://www.sochiglitch.com.

Business, International, Law Enforcement, Politics

INDIA’S BRILLIANT IDEA FOR GUN-CONTROL

January 26, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

New Delhi, India – India may just have found the solution towards gun control, and other countries are closely watching.

A gun company in this nation of 1.2 Billion people has just manufactured a gun designed for women: light, sleek and pink. The idea of a pink pistol came about as a result of increasing rape and violence against women. In its marketing campaign, the gun manufacturer says that “it is time women started carrying guns to protect themselves from rapists and attackers.”

Now, the Indian Parliament is considering passing a legislation that would ban the manufacture of all guns, except the pink pistol. The measure is expected to reduce gun ownership among men who constitute 77 percent of all gun owners. The legislators believe that the pink pistol will discourage men who are much concerned about their “macho” image from purchasing this deadly weapon.

Under the proposed legislation, current gun owners will be given six months from the passage of the law to surrender their firearms or trade them in for pink pistols.

The American National Rifle Association (NRA) is reportedly very nervous about this Indian legislation and has mobilized its top lobbyists in Washington, D.C. to make sure that no such legislation is introduced in the U.S. Congress.