In a spectacle that could only be described as “The Apprentice: White House Edition,” President Trump and Vice President Vance took turns chastising Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky like a couple of irate high school principals. The reason? Zelensky apparently forgot to memorize his lines from the Trump Doctrine—specifically, the one where he praises Russia and pretends the invasion never happened.

Scrapping a joint press conference over Zelensky’s refusal to play along? That’s some top-tier reality TV pettiness. If Trump thinks he’s a monarch handing down decrees, Zelensky must’ve missed the memo that he’s just a lowly subject. But hey, it’s not every day you see two Goliaths trying to humble David—on live television, no less! Maybe next time, the White House should just hand out a script in advance. After all, if you’re going to demand obedience, at least give your guest a proper cue card!