All posts by Pol Pinoy

OBAMA VOWS TO REDUCE PORK BARREL SPENDING

obamaWashington, D.C. – Facing criticism for the country’s turtle-paced recovery from the recession and continued budget woes that put him in a never-ending fierce battle with Republican legislators, President Barack Obama today vowed to use all available powers bestowed upon the presidency to significantly reduce pork barrel spending.  U.S. legislators have consistently used pet projects in their constituent areas as a negotiating tool in federal budget battles.  The most memorable pork barrel projects were Alaska’s “Bridge to Nowhere,” and Boston’s Big Dig (Central Artery/Tunnel Project).

Asked by members  of the White House Press Corps about specifics of his plan, President Obama said he will propose to Congress a new legislation that would limit the U.S. government’s importation of Ibérico pork.  The Ibérico pig is an indigenous species that is only found in the Iberian peninsula.  The superb quality of the meat from the Ibérico pig is brought about by the climate, its freedom to roam outdoors and its diet.  It is often fed on acorns which gives the meat its wonderful nutty flavor.  The price of Ibérico pork commands a very high price in the world market, costing as much as $100 per pound, or approximately $20,000 per barrel.  The U.S. Department of Agriculture did not return calls from The Adobo Chronicles seeking information on how many barrels of the pork the country imports each year from Spain.

porkApparently, only Ibérico pork is served in the basement cafeterias of the Senate and House of Representatives Buildings on Capitol Hill, as well as during state banquets hosted by the White House. President Obama urged Congress to swiftly pass his proposed legislation cutting down on pork barrel importation.  “I am confident we can pass this legislation in a bi-partisan manner,” the President added.

PRINCE HARRY DIAGNOSED WITH RARE FORM OF DEPRESSION

photo(282)London, U.K. – Most everyone is familiar with postpartum depression which affects 10-20 percent of childbearing women.  But doctors at the Royal Centre for Defence Medicine have discovered a rare form of depression that afflicts individuals other than the women giving birth. Amid the frenzy over the impending birth of the first child of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, doctors announced that the first patient they have ever diagnosed with this rare depression was no less than Prince Harry.

Doctors are calling this disease “prepartum depression,” apparently caused by panic or anxiety over an impending birth of a child.  Hospital records show that Prince Harry has been suffering from this condition for 9 months now.  It began immediately after the announcement that the Duchess of Cambridge was pregnant.

The Senior Psychiatrist at the Centre, speaking to paparazzis camped outside the facility, said that Prince Harry’s depression was caused by the fact that the younger brother of Prince William has been “deposed” from his spot in the ascendancy to the British throne.  Prior to the pregnancy of Kate Middleton, Prince Harry was 3rd in line to inherit the throne, next to Prince Charles and Prince William. Prince Harry was reportedly resorting to drugs and alcohol, as well as behavior not befitting of royalty, since he learned of the arrival of the Royal Baby.

Doctors are closely monitoring Prince Harry’s condition, but would not confirm whether the Prince’s depression would automatically convert to postpartum depression once the Royal Baby is born.

MANILA MAYOR WON’T LET GO OF CAPTIVE ELEPHANT

imageManila, Philippines – Meet Mali, the elephant that was a gift from the government of Sri Lanka to former Philippine First Lady and Metro Manila Governor Imelda Marcos. That was 35  years ago. Since then, Mali has been held in captivity at the Manila Zoo, alone and uncared for in terms of her medical needs.

Animal rights activists worldwide have been calling on the Philippine government to release her and have her transferred to an elephant sanctuary in Thailand where she could be with other elephants in a natural habitat.  Former Beatle Paul McCarthy was among the latest celebrities to advocate for Mali’s release, writing a letter to Philippine President Aquino.

But the fight for Mali’s release seems to hinge on Manila’s local government, not the presidential palace.

imageManila Mayor Joseph Estrada has refused to release Mali to the sanctuary. Estrada is a movie actor and former Philippine president who was impeached and convicted for corruption, only to be pardoned  and released from prison by another Philippine President, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, who herself faces corruption charges.

“Since I am now the mayor of Manila which has jurisdiction over the Manila Zoo, I am technically the owner of Mali,” Estrada told a group of international reporters at Manila’s Press Club.

Asked by The Adobo Chronicles  during a Skype call last night about his reason for not wanting to release Mali, Estrada said “Mali is the perfect symbol of my career as a politician. My career is a show, a circus.  And what better represents my career than an elephant?”

“Besides,” Estrada added, “I believe my politics is more aligned with the Republican Party in the U.S.  and I know the elephant is their mascot and symbol.”

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Editor’s note: Well, for once, Estrada got something correct.