Quiboloy Arrest In Absentia?

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In a twist worthy of divine comedy, the Davao Regional Trial Court has issued a warrant for the arrest of Pastor Apollo Quiboloy, the self-proclaimed “appointed son of God,” on sexual abuse charges. 

However, it seems that even divine intervention couldn’t locate Quiboloy as the Davao police, in a miraculous display of cluelessness, claim they have no idea where he is. It appears that when it comes to evading earthly justice, divine connections are the ultimate trump card.

One might wonder if Quiboloy has ascended to higher realms, leaving mere mortals to grapple with the earthly consequences of his alleged actions. Or perhaps he’s simply taking a celestial sabbatical, basking in the glow of his divine immunity.

In this theater of the absurd, justice seems to be on an extended vacation, while Quiboloy’s whereabouts remain a heavenly mystery. As the saying goes, “God works in mysterious ways,” and apparently, so does his appointed son.

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Larry Gadon’s Brilliant Anti-Poverty Proposal: Double The Number Of Senators!

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Larry Gadon’s proposed constitutional amendments, doubling the number of Philippine senators and extending the terms of elected local officials, epitomize political absurdity masquerading as anti-poverty strategy. 

As the appointed anti-poverty czar under President Bongbong Marcos, Gadon seems to believe that increasing the Senate to 48 members and elongating terms will magically alleviate poverty. However, one must wonder how adding more politicians and extending their tenures will translate to more food on the tables of the less fortunate. It appears Gadon missed the memo from his boss advocating for economic, not political, changes to the 1987 constitution. 

Is this Gadon’s clandestine ploy to bolster his own chances at a Senate seat, recognizing his perpetual exclusion from the esteemed Magic 12 (he was No. 20 in the last elections) or even the circle of 24? 

But really, what can we expect of a disbarred lawyer who heckles his critics with shouts of “bobo,” gives them his middle finger, and cusses on social media.

In the theater of Philippine politics, it seems clowns aren’t just in the circus; they’re drafting constitutional amendments.