Harvard University Declares Rowena Guanzon ”Alumna Non Grata!”

CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts (The Adobo Chronicles, Cambridge Bureau) – It is one of the credentials she has been brandishing, but now, Ex-Comelec Commissioner Rowena Guanzon may have to strike it out from her curriculum vitae.

Today, Guanzon’s alma mater, Harvard University officially declared her ” alumna non grata,” the academic equivalent of persona non grata.

The decision of the university’s board of regents was a result of recent activities and public appearances of Guanzon which all but denigrate the highest standards and reputation held by Harvard.

Since her retirement from Comelec, Guanzon has been using her Twitter account to spread inanities, making many question her psychological state of mind. She has also been appearing at campaign rallies of Vice President and presidential aspirant Leni Robredo, screaming non-sensical memes and slogans mostly directed at former Senator Bongbong Marcos.

In response to a query from The Adobo Chronicles, a university spokesperson said Guanzon’s name has been deleted from Harvard’s roster of alumni. He also said Guanzon’s tirades against Marcos goes against the university’s motto of ”Veritas,” meaning ”Truth.”

Supporters Report Two Miracles At Leni Robredo Rally In Antipolo!

ANTIPOLO CITY, Rizal (The Adobo Chronicles, Antipolo Bureau) – No one thought of taking photos or videos — perhaps because of shock — but supporters of Vice President and presidential aspirant Leni Robredo reported witnessing not just one, but two miracles during the latter’s grand rally in Antipolo City yesterday.

According to online testimonies, it was raining very hard all day at the rally, drenching many of the attendees and fanatics. Then, all of a sudden, when Robredo took to the microphone to speak, the rain abruptly stopped, they said.

But there was another miracle reported by a young girl who was standing about 10 yards from the stage.

”Pagkatapos magsalita ni Leni, lumutang siya” she claimed. (After Leni spoke, she floated)

Robredo is known in campaign circles and on social media as ”lutang.” A floater.

Ex-Comelec Commissioner Rowena Guanzon’s Facebook Account Suspended!

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Ex-Comelec Commissioner Rowena Guanzon took to Twitter to complain that Facebook had suspended her account. She blamed supporters of former Senator and presidential aspirant Bongbong Marcos for this unfortunate penalty.

A quick check on Guanzon’s FB account shows it was still active and that she had just posted a comment 3 hours before she complained on Twitter.

The Adobo Chronicles reached out to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerburg to confirm Guanzon’s suspension and the reason for it. Our calls have not been returned as of press time.

But here is a list of possible community standards violations that could result in a FB subscriber’s suspension. We’ll let our readers figure out which of these Guanzon violated. It could be one, or several, or all of the following: