MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – World leaders are known to call each other at 3 a.m. (more or less, Western time) to consult on both international and domestic issues.

The Adobo Chronicles has learned that U.S. President Donald Trump called Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte at 3 a.m. on Saturday (2 p.m. Friday, U.S. West Coast time) and we were able to obtain a transcript of the call:

Trump: Mr. President, I’m sure you’ve already heard I’ve been impeached by the House of Representatives.

Duterte: Impeached but not convicted. I’m a lawyer you know.

Trump: You’re absolutely right. How have you avoided being impeached by your own Congress despite all the rumors from CNN, New York Times and Time Magazine about your  EJK policies?

Duterte: I control them you know. Besides, where are you getting all these rumors?

Trump: From your own Philippine media, like Rappler, whose CEO Maria Ressa has been honored many times by Time.

Duterte: And you believe Time?

Trump: No way, it’s fake news, like CNN. Why don’t you  lock up that Ressa.

Duterte: Uhm, she’s a U.S. citizen.

Trump: Oh okay. I’ll have her arrested  the next time she comes to the U.S.

Duterte: She owes us taxes.

Trump: Noted. I’ll freeze all her U.S. bank accounts.

(End of call. Duterte’s mobile phone went on low batt.)