WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau)-  The White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump had a great phone conversation with Rodrigo Duterte over the weekend and has extended an invitation to the Philippine president to visit the U.S.

Here’ a transcript of the amorous phone call as released by The White House:

TRUMP: Good afternoon Mr. Doo-ter-tey.

DUTERTE: It’s Du-ter-te. And it’s 3 a.m. here in the Philippines.

TRUMP: Well, I never apologize, so I’m not going to say, “I’m sorry.”

DUTERTE: You just did, you son of a whore.

TRUMP: Hey, hey, watch your language. I’m the president of the most powerful country in the world. Yours is just a third world country.

DUTERTE: Maybe, but I am friends with powerful countries that are your enemies, like China and Russia.

TRUMP: Well, why can’t we be friends as well? After all, people are calling you the “Trump of the Philippines.”

DUTERTE: Let me correct you, p*tang i*a mo. You’re being called the Duterte of America.

TRUMP: Anyway, I hear you’re doing a great job hosting the ASEAN leaders at your summit in Manila.

DUTERTE: Yeah, better than your hosting of the Easter Egg Hunt at your White House. That was pathetic!

TRUMP: I would like to invite you to The White House.  It’s gonna be great.

DUTERTE: But I don’t have a visa to come to the U.S.  Remember, I was already denied a U.S. visa when I wanted to come visit my girlfriend during my college days?

TRUMP: Dude, that was way before my time ‘ya know.

DUTERTE: Well, technically, I am from a Muslim region in the Philippines 🇵🇭. I thought you wanted to ban Muslims from entering your country?

TRUMP: As president, I can grant you an exemption.

DUTERTE: But The New York Times says I am a murderer.  Doesn’t your travel ban include terrorists and murderers?

TRUMP: F*ck The New York Times.  All they report is fake news.

DUTERTE: Invitation accepted.

(At this point, Duterte ran out of mobile phone load.  So the conversation abruptly ended.)