Filipinos Urged To Strictly Follow Escalator Etiquette

IMG_6204.PNGMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Change has indeed come to the Philippines under the administration of President Rodrigo Roa Duterte which marks exactly 100 days today.

No drugs. No corruption. No tanim bala. No riding in tandem. No road rage. Above all, a more disciplined citizenry.

During the previous Aquino administration, people in crowded malls were clogging up escalators talking or texting on their smart phones

Not anymore.

Beginning immediately, mall security will strictly enforce a new escalator etiquette. Violators will be fined or asked to leave the building.

It’s a simple rule when using mall escalators: stay on the right to stand, keep left to walk, and use the shiny railing to slide down.

“Sa ika-uunlad ng bayan, disiplina ang kailangan.” (Discipline is key to nation-building)

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ABS-CBN Launches New Reality Show

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De Lima, left, and Dayan

QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – The ABS-CBN television network today announced that it will soon launch a new reality show, “Where In The World Is Ronnie Dayan?”

Dayan is the former driver and alleged lover of Senator Leila De Lima who has been implicated in the illegal drug trade inside in the New Bilibid Prison  (NBP) during the senator’s term as Justice Secretary.

Despite being summoned, Dayan failed to attend today’s House of Representatives’ Justice Committee public hearing on drug operations at NBP.

Justice Secretary Vitaliano Aguirre II said that his department does not have information on Dayan’s whereabouts. This prompted ABS-CBN to quickly put together the new reality show which will feature both government and private individuals who will be searching for Dayan.  The first person who finds Dayan will be awarded One Million Pesos.

The new reality show is expected to be a hit that could surpass the record audience of GMA’s AlDub series.

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Ladies And Gentlemen, The Next President Of The Philippines…

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Locsin

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Rodrigo Roa Duterte has not yet been in office for a full 100 days but already, the campaign for the 2022 Philippine presidential elections has  begun.

The leading candidate? Teddy Boy Locsin — journalist, former congressman and newly-appointed Philippine ambassador to the United Nations.

Locsin surely knows the winning formula to become president: be as foul-mouthed as Duterte. Or better.

Locsin first became controversial when he despised his own national language, Tagalog, as a useless language.  Everything went downhill (or is it uphill) from there.

In recent days, he has taken to his Twitter account to bitch, to curse, to threaten and to implore the Nazis. (Parental discretion advised.)

“If it worked for President Duterte, I’m sure it would, too, for me.  I found the perfect strategy to become the next president,” Locsin told The Adobo Chronicles.

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