Monthly Archives: September 2015

Business, International, Politics, Sports

TRUMP TOILET TISSUE IN SHORT SUPPLY ACCORDING TO KENYAN AMERICAN MANUFACTURER

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imageSAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) –  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has again hit below the belt, confirming his dislike for Kenyans, including the one living in The White House.

This time, he has attacked Kenyan athletets who won the IAAF World Championships in Beijing, saying they are “cheap frauds, masquerades and conmen/women.”

Trump made the disparaging comments in Iowa where he met veterans and promised their well being when he becomes President.

According to MSNBC, Trump’s remarks did not augur well with a handful of people and they jeered him all the way. According to Trump, Kenyans including Obama are conmen who dope and cheat on their way to the top.

He reiterated categorically that it is the US that won and not Kenya. Trump congratulated the US athletes for winning the IAAF World Championships in Beijing although they were not officially pronounced winners.

Following Trump’s comments, a Kenyan-American has started manufacturing tissue paper in the U.S. bearing Trump’s ugly image. Businessman Gideon Munguti vowed to teach Trump a lifetime lesson. .

According to 26 year old Munguti, “Trump deserves to wipe all shit and escort it to destination.”

The new household item has been selling like hotcakes and as of 5 p.m, Sunday, the limited edition toilet tissue has been on backorder at Costco, Walmart, K-mart, Safeway and Whole Foods.

Even eBay is reporting that the toilet tissue, despite being sold at exhorbitant prices, is also sold-out.

Will Trump learn not to mess with Kenyans?

Recently Kenyans from all walks of life created a twitter hashtag dubbed #someonetellTrump, to warn him to stay away from the mighty people of Kenya.

Politics

BREAKING NEWS: DUTERTE IS RUNNING!

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Duterte
Duterte

DAVAO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles® ) – Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, known for his iron-fist kind of management, has repeatedly said that he was not interested in running for president of the Philippines in the 2016 elections.

But at 4pm on Monday, September 7 (September 6 U.S. time), Duterte is scheduled to make a very important announcement.  Neithier the mayor nor his closest aides are saying what the announcement is going to be.

However, The Adobo Chronicles® has learned from a very reliable source that Duterte will announce that he is running.

Running away from running for president, that is.

International, Politics

DONALD TRUMP TO ISRAEL’S BENJAMIN NETANYAHU: “YOU’RE A COPYCAT”

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Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) – Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump today accused Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of being a ‘copycat.’

Israel has begun building a fence along part of the country’s eastern border with Jordan as Syrian civil war refugees and other migrants flee their countries. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Sunday: “We see today what happens when countries lose control of their borders. Earlier in the day,  Netanyahu bemoaned the “human tragedy” of Syria’s civil war and said Israel has helped out victims. However, he said Israel isn’t large enough to do much more.

Trump told reporters that “The Israeli prime minister needs to be more original in his pronouncements and policies instead of copying my ideas.”

Trump had proposed building a ‘great wall’ along the entire U.S.-Mexico border as a way to stop illegal immigration. He fell short of asking Netanyahu to pay him royalty fees for stealing his idea.