APPLE TO RELEASE THE iPHONE WALLET SEPTEMBER 9

August 31, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Cupertino, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Apple has been working with Visa, Mastercard and American Express for the latest iteration of its iPhone scheduled to be released September 9.

Contrary to speculation, Apple will not be announcing the iPhone 6. Rather, it will be releasing the iPhone Wallet, capable of making payments at retail stores that accept credit or debit cards.

The new iPhone will come in black or brown pure leather but will not have a screen. The keypad is imbedded in the wallet, as are the microphone and speaker. Calls and payments can be made using the keypad. The keypad is automatically connected to cash registers via bluetooth.

While the iPhone Wallet will not have the capability of taking pictures, sending emails or browsing the Internet, it has a special compartment that can hold the user’s old iPhone.

The good news is that the new iPhone will retail for only $99 , with no two-year contract required.

LGBT, Sports

THE REAL REASON MICHAEL SAM WAS CUT BY THE ST. LOUIS RAMS

August 31, 2014 Pol Pinoy 1 Comment

St. Louis, MO (The Adobo Chronicles) – American football player Michael Sam made history by being the first openly-gay player to be drafted by an NFL team. Now, he just made history by being the first openly-gay player to be cut by an NFL team.

Sam didn’t make the final cut with the St. Louis Rams so his millions of LGBT fans won’t see him in action in the upcoming NFL season.

Anti-gay and conservative groups are rejoicing over the Rams’ decision to dump Sams.

As expected, CNN Sports will have sufficient material in its broadcasts for the next three months, analyzing and overanalyzing why Sam lost his spot on the team. ESPN, Sports Illustrated, The Advocate and other media outlets will surely increase their viewership and readers just by running the headline, “Did Homophobia Ruin Michael Sam’s NFL Career?”

To put all speculation to rest, The Adobo Chronicles contacted Rams owner Stan Kroenke and asked him what the real reason was for Sam not making the final cut. He sent this one-line response in an email:

“Michael Sam was not gay enough!”

Politics

REPUBLICANS WITHDRAW IMPEACHMENT CHARGE AGAINST OBAMA

August 30, 2014 Pol Pinoy 1 Comment

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Last week, The Adobo Chronicles reported that Republicans in Congress have voted to impeach President Barack Obama for bringing disgrace to the Office of the President. The move stemmed from Obama wearing a tan-colored suit at a White House press briefing. Republican legislators had said that no other president in U.S. history has ever worn a light-colored suit. They were one in saying that U.S. presidents should dignify the office by wearing only dark suits. tan suit

However, after photos of Presidents Reagan, George H. and George W. Bush, as well as Clinton wearing light-colored suits appeared on social media, the Republicans immediately withdrew their impeachment charge.

“We apologize for this fiasco,” Speaker John Boehner said, adding, ” our legislative staff didn’t do a good job at research. Some heads are gonna roll!”

Meanwhile, The White House responded by saying , “Wait till the Republicans discover photos of earlier U.S. presidents wearing white suits, even after Labor Day.”