RUSSIA OFFERS STATEHOOD TO ARIZONA

imageMoscow, Russia – The government of Vladimir Putin has offered Arizona full statehood in Russia. If Arizona accepts, it will become a recognized federal subject, the equivalent of states in the U.S.

Putin sent the offer in a message to Arizona Governor Jan Brewer after he learned that S.B. 1062 passed the Arizona Legislature and is now awaiting the Republican governor’s signature. The bill makes it legal for Arizona businesses to refuse service to gay men and women if it is not consistent with their religious beliefs. Russia has its own law, passed last year, that makes public display of homosexuality a crime – a law that had come under fire even as recent as the just-concluded Winter Olympics in Sochi.

Putin promised Brewer that the full expanse of Arizona will be “relocated”  to a deserted area in Northern Russia (see map).

Upon learning of the Russian offer to Arizona, the U.S. State Department sent a draft revised map of the U.S. to the White House, showing what 49 states would look like. The State Department is recommending that the former spot occupied by Arizona be assigned to one of the territories or countries that have expressed some desire to join the Union, among them, Puerto Rico, Guam and the Philippines.

CORY AQUINO IS FIRST SAINT CANONIZED OUTSIDE OF ROME

imageTarlac, Philippines – It usually takes decades and proven miracles for anyone to be canonized as a saint in the Catholic Church. But for the late Cory Aquino, former Philippine president, wife of murdered opposition leader Benigno Aquino, Jr., and mother of incumbent president NoyNoy Aquino, all it took was sainthood “by acclamation.”

Cory supporters and fanatics in her native Tarlac province, north of Manila, took it upon themselves to proclaim their idol as “Saint Cory of Hacienda Luisita.” Hacienda Luisita is an expansive piece of land owned by the Cojuanco and Aquino families which has been a sore thumb in the Philippines’ decades-old Agrarian Reform Program. To this day, many farmers who once tilled the soil at Hacienda Luisita have not gained ownership of their piece of land. Scores of others have actually been displaced and forced out of the land they once called home.

The powerful Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) has been all but silent on Cory’s “sainthood.” Top bishops in the CBCP are known to have always aligned themselves with the Aquino family back since the regime of Ferdinand Marcos.

The Philippines has two saints canonized in Rome: Lorenzo Ruiz and Pedro Calungsod. Aquino is the first known saint to be canonized outside The Vatican.

In a related development, the Congress of the Philippines has passed a bill to rename the International Airport in the former U.S. airbase in Clark, province of Pampanga, as “Cory Aquino International Airport.

Opponents of the bill objected, saying that the government cannot name an airport after a saint because the Philippine Constitution provides for the separation of church and state.

KRIS AQUINO DESPERATELY SEEKING AN INVITATION TO THE OSCARS

Filipino American Robert Lopez, Oscar nominee for "Best Song"
Filipino American Robert Lopez, Oscar nominee for “Best Song”

Quezon City, Philippines – Kris Aquino makes no secret about her lifelong dream to be invited to Hollywood’s Oscar Awards ceremonies. Kris, the younger sister of Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino, is a popular television host in her country. Among the shows she hosts are the local versions of the American reality programs “Deal or No Deal” and “America’s Got Talent.”

She sees an opportunity for her dream to be fulfilled this year with a Filipino American being nominated in the Best Song category – Robert Lopez, composer of the the nominated song “Let It Go” from the Disney animated film, “Frozen.” image

Aquino has reportedly sent messages under the Philippine presidential letterhead to Lopez, asking that she be considered as his date to this weekend’s Oscar Awards show.

Lopez’s wife, also named Kris (Kristen Anderson Lopez) was apparently unhappy with the Aquinos’ lobbying and has asked her husband to ignore and not to respond to Kris’ messages.

Kristen is co-composer of the nominated song with her husband.