MANNY PACQUIAO’S NEW CAREER GOAL: TO PLAY AGAINST JEREMY LIN

Jeremy Lin
Jeremy Lin

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – This might sound crazier than Linsanity, but world boxing champion Manny Pacquiao has his eyes set on playing against American Jeremy Lin.  Not in a boxing bout, but in professional basketball.  Lin is an NBA player for the Houston Rockets who rose to fame in 2012 after unexpectedly leading a winning streak by his team at that time, the New York Knicks.

It was announced in Manila today that the Filipino boxer — the only eight-division world champion — will be coaching and playing professional basketball starting the next PBA session, the local equivalent of the NBA. Pacquiao will be playing for a new PBA team, Columbian Autocar Corporation, owner of the KIA franchise in the Philippines.  The new team will be named after the Korean car manufacturer.  Pacquiao, as part of the deal, will also become the new image model of KIA vehicles in the Philippines and the rest of Asia.

Manny Pacquiao
Manny Pacquiao

“I like to challenge icons and famous personalities,” Pacquiao told reporters in Tagalog, adding that his ultimate goal is to come face to face on the basketball court with Lin, whether in the NBA or the PBA. “People think of Linsanity when thinking of the baketball player,” Pacquiao said. “I want to give more teeth to my label as Pacman.”

When asked to elaborate, Pacquiao who is also a congressman  said the greedy video game icon is known to gobble anything and everything it encounters. “Just like me,” he said, “I want to go after everyone that may stand in the way of bringing me fame and fortune — in boxing, politics, in kaoaoke bars, and yes, in basketball.”

Filipinos of course know that “Pacquiao” in the local vernacular means wholesale or buying in bulk. It could also very well refer to being a jack of all trades.

 

 

A SATIRE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY, RESEARCHERS FIND

imageSan Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Researchers at the University of California in San Francisco (UCSF) have just released an earthshaking study that links satire to better health and longer life.

Satire is a centuries-old type of literature that uses humor and imitation to attack and ridicule individuals’ moral and character flaws, such as vice, unfairness, stupidity or vanity.

The study involved a large group of self-proclaimed netizens, half of whom admitted to reading news satire at least once every morning and the other half (control group) professed no interest at all in this art form while limiting their news reading to legitimate, traditional media sources.

The results showed that the satire group sought medical attention for health issues on an average of once a year, the bulk of which was for their routine annual checkup. The non-satire group saw their doctors anywhere from six to ten times a year for serious health conditions ranging from hypertension and high cholesterol to sleep deprivation and depression.  The satire group tended to be more mature, age-wise, leading the researchers to conclude that satire readers live a longer life.

The satire group also prefers to watch television shows like ‘The Daily News,’ ‘ The Colbert Report,’ and ‘ ‘Saturday Night Live’ over CNN, FOX and MSNBC News.

The study recommends that people add satire to their daily dose of fruits, vegetables, protein, Olive oil , 2 glasses of wine and a morning cup of freshly-brewed coffee.

 

EATING CORN GRITS LINKED TO HOMOSEXUALITY IN U.S, CHAMPION BOXERS IN THE PHILIPPINES

imageCebu City, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Two research studies released simultaneously today from opposite sides of the international dateline show an interesting link of eating corn grits to being gay and being a champion boxer.

The Daily Currant reports that scientists at Stanford University in California released a study showing that men who regularly eat grits are 70 percent more likely to have gay children.The prospective cohort study, published in Nature Medicine, followed 15,000 volunteers for 30 years to determine the influence of parental diet on the development of childhood illnesses.

In the Philippines, researchers at the University of the Visayas in Cebu City released their own study linking the consumption of corn grits to being champion boxers. While rice is the predominant staple in most of the Philippines, corn grits are the staple in many areas in the Visayas and Mindanao islands.

The Philippines has its share of champion boxers, many of whom hail from grit-eating cities and provinces. Manny Pacquiao is from Sarangani in Mindanao. Legendary Filipino boxer, the late Gabriel ‘Flash’ Elorde was from the Visayas.

Got grits? Be gay. Be a champion boxer!