Security | The Adobo Chronicles

Photo credit: www.hobotraveler.com — Photo credit: http://www.hobotraveler.com

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Continuing with our Adobo Chronicles’ Philippines tour, here are the top 10 signs that will remind you that your’re in Manila:

Everybody calls you ‘Sir.’
Security guards don’t carry pistols. They carry AK-47s!
Entering a mall is like going through airport security check. Each and every time.
A hotel restroom attendant turns on the faucet for you and hands you a paper towel. If you’re lucky, you get a neck and shoulder massage.
Your hotel’s café is packed during the buffet breakfast each morning– with Balikbayans (visiting Filipino expatriates). They fill up their plates like food is going to run out by the time they go for a second serving.
Your Filipino friends won’t answer your telephone calls but will respond instantly to your text. They will greet you, “Gud-am”(Good morning). Hey, phone calls are expensive!
Why spend money to go to a karaoke bar when you can go to the mall and sing at no charge? You might even become a YouTube sensation!
The price of a cup of coffee at your hotel is 175 Pesos. That’s twice the price of a grande at Starbucks!
Even in 90-degree weather, people don’t need airconditioning in their homes. They just go to the malls.
Your restaurant server apologizes for the delay in getting you your check. He says, “Sorry sir, your check is being reprinted.” And you can only hope you’re not being charged twice!

“It’s more fun in the Philippines!”

San Francisco, California – It’s been two weeks since the new eastern span of the Bay Bridge opened to traffic. Now, the biggest controversy over the bridge is about to unfold. A new security leak reveals a shocking secret about the multi-million dollar infrastructure.

While commuters marveled at the suspension cables that emanate from a single tower, they are unaware that the light poles lining either side of the new span are actually missiles that can be activated and launched by a single computer switch. The missiles, according to the leaked documents, function both as “offensive and defensive weapons.”

The Adobo Chronicles learned that the secret missiles were incorporated into the construction plan soon after North Korea announced that they have nuclear missiles capable of reaching the U.S. West Coast.

The National Security Administration refused to confirm or deny the information leaked to the U.S. media. However, an NSA employee who requested anonymity for fear of retaliation from his superiors, commented: “The new span, because of issues with faulty bolts, might not withstand a 6.9 magnitude earthquake, but it will definitely deter any missile attacks against the U.S.”