Rome, Italy – Pope Francis continues to surprise the Roman Catholic Church with his unprecedented papal lifestyle changes. He has chosen to abandon the plush papal residence to live in a modest Vatican apartment with other clergy. As previously reported by The Adobo Chronicles, the pontiff has also auctioned off his popemobile, red shoes and pure gold jewelry on eBay.
Now, his cardinals are vehemently protesting his latest directive banning the church’s princes from wearing the traditional magna capa, the ceremonial robe that has a long train much like a wedding dress. In issuing the directive, Pope Francis reminded his cardinals that “we are fishermen, not royal kings or queens. Our power comes from God, not from the worldy symbols of opulence like thrones and scepters and robes.”
As part of the protest, the cardinals have threatened to go on a hunger strike beginning at midnight on Christmas. They said they will call off the strike only if Pope Francis rescinded his directive. “His Holiness must understand that the magna capa is the one last remaining pleasure we are privileged to have as bishops of Rome,” said one of the protesting cardinals.
Salt Lake City, Utah – Pope Francis continues to win the hearts of Catholics and non-Catholics alike with his humble, down-to-earth, and open-arms approach to his papacy. Time magazine’s 2013 ‘Person of the Year’ seems to be transcending the realms of organized religion and is slowly but surely gaining the respect and admiration of, even the Mormons.
President Thomas S. Monson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) has sent feelers to The Vatican for a possible summit with Pope Francis to explore a merger between the Mormons and the Roman Catholic Church . “I like everything I’ve seen so far about this new Pope,” Monson said.
Monson was reacting to a story by The Adobo Chronicles regarding women and gay Catholics flocking to Vatican confessionals following the release of the 2014 Priests Calendar featuring the best-looking Catholic priests.
“We have our fair share of good-looking Mormon missionaries, and they would look hotter if they donned the Catholic priest collar rather than the boring white shirt and tie,” said Monson.
Vatican City – The Vatican is enlisting the services of eBay, the Silicon Valley internet auction giant, to dispose of valuable items that Pope Francis has decided won’t have anything to do with his reign as head of the 1.2 Billion-strong Catholic Church. Since being elected pope on March 13, the former Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio has surprised the Vatican Curia with sweeping changes that have signaled a more simple, less materialistic papacy.
Ebay is finalizing the design of a special “Vatican Store” which company executives said will make its public debut on September 1st. Ebay is reportedly providing the Vatican with the auction service pro bono, on the condition that Pope Francis absolve the company of all its past unfair business practices. The Vatican has said that proceeds from the auction will be used to set up a special fund to pay for legal costs in the increasing number of criminal and civil lawsuits the Catholic Church is facing in connection cases of sexual abuse by priests worldwide.
Ebay released the following initial list of papal items to be auctioned off by the Vatican:
Popemobile
Pure Gold “Fisherman’s Ring” (Pope Francis has chosen to wear a gold-plated silver ring)
Red Prada Shoes (Pope Francis is keeping his old black shoes)
Papal Red Cape (Pope Francis has chosen to wear a simple white cassock)
Pure Gold Pectoral Cross (Pope Francis insists on keeping the iron-plated pectoral cross he used as archbishop)
The Vatican is also considering renting out the papal room at the Apostolic Palace which overlooks St. Peter’s Square (Palazzo Apostolico) to tourists since Pope Francis has opted to live in the Vatican guest house, along with other priests and bishops.
Rome, Italy – Pope Francis continues to surprise the Roman Catholic Church with his unprecedented papal lifestyle changes. He has chosen to abandon the plush papal residence to live in a modest Vatican apartment with other clergy. As previously reported by The Adobo Chronicles, the pontiff has also auctioned off his popemobile, red shoes and pure gold jewelry on eBay.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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