by Melchor Vergara
We chanced upon a netizen post showing a supposed photograph of a road intersection in the Philippines where vehicles figured in a race to cross, ending up in an unbelievable traffic mess. The caption read, “Onli in da pilipins.”
We did a reverse image search and as we suspected, the photo was not taken in PH, but in Vietnam.
We didn’t think the post was intended to be satire — rather, fake news.
As the Philippine government unveils plans for a whopping P170 billion rehab project for the notorious Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA), one can’t help but wonder if this is just another attempt to slap a fresh coat of paint on a sinking ship.
Despite the hefty investment and promised improvements, the elephant in the room remains unaddressed – the cursed name, NAIA. No amount of pesos thrown or upgrades installed can cleanse the stain of “tanim-bala,” “nakaw-pera,” or the infamous sauna experience associated with NAIA. It’s like trying to put lipstick on a pig and expecting it to win a beauty pageant.
International pilots, weary passengers, and beleaguered control tower staff know the truth: the name itself is synonymous with chaos. Perhaps it’s time to heed the call for change and rebrand. After all, who wouldn’t prefer a warm “Welcome to Manila!” over the cold shiver of “Welcome to NAIA”?
It goes without saying that a beauty pageant title boils down to the final Q&A. Many beautiful women make it to the final five only to have their quest for the crown crumble in their response to that one question.
So, the Miss Universe Philippines is leaving no stone unturned when it comes to training contestants to shine during those final moments of pageant night.
Our fly on the wall tells us that training for the upcoming May pageant is in full swing. Contestants are brought to Jollibee outlets to hone their skills on Q&A.
Here is how one contestant fared during a visit to Jollibee:
What’s your order maam?
“Thank you for that wonderful question. To order in Jollibee is both an honor and a responsibility. If I were to order, I would use my voice to choose C1 with Coke upgraded to Large, which is timely and relevant to my country which is the Philippines. I want to show the world, the universe rather, that Jollibee Chickenjoy is the most crispy-licious and juicy-licious chicken with a heart.”
Thank you. 🍗
(CTTO: Mark I.)
The Adobo Chronicles 
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