PAPER MAGAZINE COMES CLEAN: KIM KARDASHIAN’S BUTT WAS PHOTOSHOPPED

imageNew York, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) – Kim Kardashian’s nude photograph which graced the cover of the latest issue of Paper Magazine was photoshopped, the publication admitted today.

Kim’s enormous oiled posterior became an Internet sensation after the photo was released yesterday. It elicited mixed reactions of oohs and ahs as well as eews from netizens the world over.

Elizabeth Thompson, senior editor for Paper, told The Adobo Chronicles  that Kim’s butt was superimposed with another photograph of two moon cakes put together.

Moon cakes are a Chinese delicacy especially popular during the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival.  It is a delicious pastry with sweet bean or lotus filling.

Looks like many netizens were “mooned” by the Kardashian photograph.

 

OBAMA TO APPOINT A FUKUSHIMA RADIATION CZAR

imageWashington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Fukushima Dai-ichi Nuclear Power Plant experienced a meltdown following the earthquake that hit Japan in March 2011, dumping cesium-134 into the Pacific Ocean and causing Armageddon-type concerns about what would happen when the radiation made its way over to North America.

That day has finally come, according to scientists at the Massachusetts-based Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI). Traces of the radiation have been detected 160 km (100 miles) off the coast of Northern California.

Upon being informed of the news, President Barack Obama immediately appointed a Fukushima Radiation Czar to coordinate efforts on dealing with the devastating effects of this impending disaster.  Obama will announce the appointment at ceremonies  to be held at the South Lawn of the White House on Monday.

Many will recall that three months ago, when Ebola threatened to create a pandemic in the U.S., Obama immediately appointed an Ebola Czar, Ron Klain. Today, thanks to the Ebola Czar, the U.S. has been declared ‘Ebola-free.’

Obama is confident that the appointment of a Fukishima Radiation Czar will protect Americans from the devastating effects of radiation.

Many are speculating that Obama will appoint former Transportation Secretary Norm Yoshio Mineta to this important post, having both the California and Japan connection.

POPE FRANCIS TO SKIP MEETING WITH AQUINO DURING VISIT TO THE PHILIPPINES

Pope Francis
Pope Francis

The Vatican, Italy (The Adobo Chronicles) – Church officials in the Philippines have just publicly released the itinerary of Pope Francis when he visits the country January 15-19, 2015.

It will be a busy schedule for the charismatic leader of the Roman Catholic Church. It includes a meeting with President NoyNoy Aquino and other government officials, a visit with the victims of last year’s Typhoon Haiyan (Yolanda) in Tacloban, a youth rally at the the oldest Catholic University in Asia (University of Santo Tomas), and a shopping spree at the SM Mall of Asia.

Upon receiving details of his Philippine schedule, Pope Francis said that he will skip the meeting with Aquino at Malacañang, the presidential palace.  Instead, the Pope said he would like to spend an extra day in Tacloban, the city hardest hit by the devastating typhoon.

In explaining his decision, Pope Francis said that it has come to his attention that Aquino had skipped a trip to Tacloban during activities commemorating the one-year anniversay of Yolanda. Many believe that Aquino’s decision was politcally motivated, Tacloban being the turf of his political nemesis, the Romualdezes (including former First Lady Imelda Romualdez Marcos).

“I will atone for this sinful act of Aquino by spending more time with the people of Tacloban,” the pontiff said. “If Aquino wants to meet with me, he can meet me in Tacloban,” he added.

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