SPAM SHORTAGE HITS HAWAII

imageHonolulu, Hawaii – A visit to Hawaii is never complete without having a snack or meal of spam sushi. This Japanese cuisine-inspired delicacy is a mainstay in local restaurant menus as well as in the refrigerated sections of every ABC Store.

In the last week, however, spam sushi has all but disappeared in Waikiki and elsewhere in the Hawaiian islands. Even McDonald’s has run out of its spam inventory and scrapped the island breakfast combo of eggs, spam and rice from its menu board.

Investigation conducted by local authorities revealed that there has been some hoarding going on, instigated by a particular group of Hawaii visitors.  Pressed by The Adobo Chronicles to identify the “hoarders,” one local official – on condition of anonymity – said: “secret service agents and journalists” accompaning President Barack Obama who is currently vacationing in Hawaii with the first family and first dog, Bo.

Officials are also investigating reports that the shortage is further aggravated by Filipinos going home for the holidays with balikbayan boxes loaded with cans of spam purchased from Costco and other warehouse stores in the islands.

Local merchants have sent urgent messages to Hormel Foods, makers of spam, to airlift several thousand cases of canned spam from its Minnesota headquarters to Hawaii.

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OBAMAS’ DOG BO RELEASED FROM QUARANTINE AFTER MIX-UP

imageHonolulu, Hawaii – Hawaii is the only rabies-free state in the nation, thanks to strict quarantine rules put in place by the Hawaii Department of Agriculture.

State law requires dogs, cats and other animals to be quarantined for at least three months unless they qualify for the “5 days or less” quarantine program. The expedited program requires at least two rabies vaccinations, with the most recent being at least 90 days before the pet arrives in Hawaii.  It also requires a blood test to show the rabies-free status of the pet. Owners who want to use the expedited method also need have to have have a microchip ID inserted into their pet.

Bo Obama was very excited about his first trip to Hawaii, along with the first family . He had all the requirements and paperwork completed months in advance.

However, there was a small glitch upon Bo’s arrival aboard Air Force One. He was met by a quarantine official to examine his vaccination and other records. But when Bo’s microchip was scanned, it showed that he was a chihuahua instead of a Portuguese water dog that he is. He was then put in immediate quarantine.

Apparently, the quarantine official forgot to replace the batteries for his scanner so it was still showing the ID of the previous dog scanned which was indeed a chihuahua.

Two days after the glitch was discovered, Bo was subsequently released to the Obamas, with lei and all, just in time to celebrate Christmas with his family.

In the spirit of Aloha and the holidays, the Obamas did not file any formal complaint against the Agriculture official.

SARAH PALIN DEFENDS ‘THE ADOBO CHRONICLES’

PALIN-McCAINHonolulu, Hawaii – Last week, Sarah Palin defended “Duck Dynasty’ star Phil Robertson’s anti-gay and racist comments he made on GQ magazine, saying that the patriarch was merely exercising his right of free speech.

Asked by Fox News host Greta Van Susteren if Palin took issue with the manner in which Robertson made his comments, the former Alaska governor replied,  “I haven’t read the article.  I don’t know exactly how he said it, but  he was responding to a question about a lifestyle he disagrees with.”

Today, Palin is defending The Adobo Chronicles for publishing an exclusive story about the former vice presidential candidate mistaking the word “mahalo” for “trash.”  “I don’t read The Adobo Chronicles or any newspaper for that matter, but whatever the news site said about me is a right guaranteed by the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution,” Palin said.

“I may very well look stupid and clueless in that news article, but I said what I said when asked a stupid question by The Adobo Chronicles reporter. I’m not going to take issue with that,” she added.

Palin is in Waikiki vacationing to escape  the frigid temperatures of her native Alaska.

In another exclusive, The Adobo Chronicles reported on the unexpected meeting between Palin and President Obama who is also vacationing this week in Hawaii.  The political rivals chanced upon each other while buying malasadas from Leonard’s Bakery in Honolulu.

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