Category Archives: Technology

Business, International, Technology, The Media

THE ONION PROPOSES MERGER WITH THE ADOBO CHRONICLES

February 9, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Chicago, Illinois – America’s Finest News Source is proposing a merger with Your Source of Up-to-date Unbelievable News.

The Chicago-based The Onion has offered to absorb the international operations of the Silicon Valley-based The Adobo Chronicles for $2 Million. The Onion, which started its Internet operations in 1988, boasts of a monthly viewership of 11 Million. The Adobo Chronicles, on the other hand, started just nine months ago and is now enjoying an average monthly viewership of 1 Million.

Investors for The Onion see a great potential to increase its worldwide viewership by merging with The Adobo Chronicles.

The Adobo Chronicles has assembled a team of lawyers and investment analysts to study the merger proposal. The name of the merged company is obviously a sticky issue, with both media outlets wanting to retain their respective names. Ironically, the names of both companies have to do with food: onion being a widely-used vegetable for cooking and adobo being the national dish of the Philippines.

Negotiators on either side have, however, agreed on the tagline for the merged company: “Your Finest Source of Up-to-Date Unbelievable World News.” A great start in the negotiations.

Media mergers and buyouts are becoming more and more common but this proposed merger is different in that it has nothing to do with either company’s financial challenges. Rather it is seen as great potential for expansion and viewership.

Business, International, Sports, Technology

SOCHI TECHNICAL GLITCH PAVES WAY FOR THE HOTTEST T-SHIRT IN THE MARKET

February 7, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Sochi, Russia – It was meant to be truly spectacular – snow flakes exploding to form the five rings of the Olympic logo. Except that one snow flake, well, flaked and didn’t turn into the fifth Olympic ring.

It was one of the embarrassing moments of the Sochi Olympics opening ceremony.

But no worries, the technical glitch has resulted in a multi-million t-shirt business. Just minutes after the glitch unfolded on worldwide television, an enterprising Filipino produced and marketed a t-shirt bearing the botched Olympic rings image.

Internet orders of the t-shirt immediately came pouring in, resulting in a 30-day back order status, and assuring the entrepreneur earnings that would take him past his retirement age.

To register for the long waiting list for the t-shirt order, visit http://www.sochiglitch.com.

Film and TV, Law Enforcement, Technology

AMC TO BAN SMART PHONES IN ALL ITS THEATERS

January 15, 2014 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Graphics credit: http://www.RoadTrafficSigns.com

Tampa, Florida – The nation continues to be shocked at the death of a man who was shot by a retired police officer for texting inside a local movie theater. Reports say the man was texting to check on his young daughter.

Responding to the outrage over the unfortunate incident, AMC, the largest movie theater chain in the country, announced that beginning next month, it will impose a total ban on smart phones in screenings at all its theaters.

A spokesperson said that AMC is now in the process of installing mini-lockers at the entrances to its screening rooms and will require all movie patrons to deposit their smart phones under lock and key. Anyone who refuses to deposit his or her smart phone will be denied entry into the theater.

As a result of this new policy, AMC will increase its movie ticket prices by a dollar to cover the cost of installing the lockers and employing additional security guards who will be frisking all movie patrons.

The spokesperson added that patrons who refuse to temporarily surrender their smart phones will not receive any refund for tickets purchased. Rather, they will receive a $10 gift certificate from Netflix.

Reacting to the AMC announcement, an overjoyed movie patron exclaimed: “That’s great! Now there will be no need to show those annoying film clips during previews reminding the audience to silence their cell phones or refrain from texting during the movie.”