East Rutherford, New Jersey – The Denver Broncos thought they had it in the bag, until their devastating Sunday night loss to the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl 48. After all, 2014 is the Year of the Horse.
But the Broncos’ stallion mascot did nothing to help them bag the championship trophy.
If it is any consolation to Broncos fans, the coalition of lunar calendar-adhering countries has unanimously agreed to postpone the “Year of the Horse” as a way of empathizing with Denver.
A decision will be made tomorrow on whether to extend the 2013 Year of the Snake or to acelerate the 2015 Year of the Goat.
Sochi, Russia – When the figure skating competitions begin a day before the actual Winter Olympics opening ceremonies, athletes and spectators will go through what may seem like security metal detectors. But lo and behold, they are actually ‘gaydars.”
These special detectors, the first if its kind in the world, will be installed at all entrances to the Iceberg Skating Palace, the 12,000-seat venue of the ice skating competitions.
Everyone knows by now that Russia has strict anti-gay laws in place, prohibiting any public display of homosexuality. While the Putin government has said that no foreigner will be arrested under these laws during the duration of the winter games, it is nevertheless taking extreme measures to discourage public display of homosexuality.
The gaydar technology, developed in China by Apple, will detect even the slightest trace of gayness by scanning the retina of the eyes and flagging any abnormal flickering of the fingers.
Russian officials said that any athlete or spectator who fails the high-tech test will be denied enty into the competitions. It wasn’t clear if the figure skating competitors are exempted from the screening. “I think the skaters will be exempted,” said one official, “otherwise we might not have any competition to watch if any of the skaters are banned from the skating arena.”
The men’s short program kicks off the figure skating competitions on February 6 and the Opening Ceremonies will be held February 7.
Sarangani, Philippines – Manny Pacquiao: world champion boxer, Philippine Congressman, Karaoke King, millionaire. He’s got it all, you’d think. But what lies ahead in his future?
In an exclusive interview with The Adobo Chronicles, “Pacman” reveals the great dilemma he is facing regarding what’s next after he leaves the boxing ring. He has already made known his intention to run for president of the Philippines in 2016, but he seems to be having a change of heart.
His new movie, featuring himself and narrated by Liam Neeson, is set to be released this spring and Pacquiao seems to have found his new love – Hollywood. He makes no secret about his ambition to be in the company of Oscar Award nominees, or better still, winners.
His advisers, though, are saying that there is no reason for Pacquiao to be conflicted, even if he becomes an Oscar award-winning actor. After all, in the Philippines, it is not uncommon for movie actors to be elected mayors, governors, congressmen, senators, even president.