Category Archives: Sports

Goldilocks Bakeshop’s Ad Crumbles Like Its Polvoron

Goldilocks Bakeshop recently unveiled an ad to “honor” EJ Obiena’s near-podium finish in Paris, featuring a medal made of their signature polvoron.

A brilliant choice—if you’re looking to epitomize irony. This sugar-dusted treat, known for crumbling at the slightest touch, is an apt metaphor for Obiena’s heart-wrenching close call.

Did Goldilocks even ponder how this might be interpreted? Imagine dedicating years of training, only to be likened to a snack that disintegrates when you blink too hard. Goldilocks seems to suggest that Obiena’s valiant effort, much like their polvoron, simply couldn’t hold together under pressure.

Perhaps next time, a cake might be a better tribute. At least it doesn’t fall apart as easily.

Bravo, Goldilocks, for turning a moment of national pride into a sugar-coated commentary on fragility. It’s almost as if they believe the way to an athlete’s heart is through his shattered dreams.

Viral Frenchman: Pole Or Porn?

In a twist befitting modern times, French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati faces an unusual crossroads: should he continue to vault towards Olympic glory or embrace the lucrative world of adult entertainment?

After an unexpected “reveal” during his latest Olympic attempt, a prominent porn site swooped in with a tantalizing $250K offer for Dupont to showcase his… assets.

While millions enjoyed the unintentional peek for free, paying viewers might soon have to open their wallets to see the real thing. Critics argue this move could tarnish his athletic reputation, but let’s face it—pole vaulters aren’t exactly household names. Besides, how many medals can one buy with $250K?

Ammirati’s dilemma is a true test of where the real value lies: in gold medals or golden opportunities. As fans eagerly await his decision, one thing is clear: the lines between sports and entertainment have never been blurrier.

Today’s Photo Editorial: Everyone Wants A Share Of Yulo’s Gold