Category Archives: Social Media

Advanced Transcript Of The Next Senate Hearing On War On Drugs

Senator Bato de la Rosa has dismissed calls to inhibit himself from the Senate hearing on Rodrigo Duterte’s War on Drugs. He says, he will participate both as an interpolator and a resource person.

The Adobo Chronicles has obtained part of future transcript of the next scheduled Senate hearing:

SENATOR BATO to SENATOR BATO: Do you admit to being the primary implementor of FPRRD’s war on drugs?

SENATOR BATO to SENATOR BATO: Your Honor, I invoke my right against self-incrimination.

SENATOR BATO to SENATOR BATO: It is a simple yes or no question. I could cite you in contempt!

SENATOR BATO to SENATOR BATO: Your Honor, may I ask for a short break? I need to go pee.

SENATOR KOKO PIMENTEL: Hearing suspended!

Rodrigo Duterte Redefines Self-Incrimination

In a masterclass on self-incrimination, former President Rodrigo Duterte seemed to redefine the legal concept by turning it into a personal confessional.

While witnesses at congressional hearings skillfully dodge questions with lines like “I invoke my right,” Duterte’s approach was refreshingly unorthodox. He freely admitted to actions that would make most attorneys reach for a stiff drink, calmly confirming his own role in alleged extrajudicial killings under his infamous war on drugs.

For Duterte, who once made headlines for his brazen admissions, due process seemed more like a quaint formality. After all, why waste taxpayer money on affidavits, testimonies, and ICC investigations when he’s already provided the main exhibit—himself?

Is this bravery, or has Duterte accidentally set a new standard for “self-cremation”? Instead of painstakingly unearthing counter evidence of wrongdoing, the former president has lit his own bonfire, inviting the world to watch. It’s the kind of bold legal strategy that would make any defense lawyer’s head spin.

Witnesses and lawyers need not apply here; Duterte’s testimony has already done the job. Why call it self-incrimination when “self-destruction” has a much better ring to it? In Duterte’s Philippines, it seems, the strongest accusations come straight from the top—no cross-examination required.

How About 7-1 to 7-24 Vehicle License Plates For Senators?

In a country where sirs and madams glide through traffic laws with impunity, what better way to bring accountability than by branding their vehicles with extra-special license plates?

 Let’s assign numbers like “7-1” to “7-24” for senators, and perhaps “8-1” to “8-316 for congressmen. This way, when these symbols of democracy veer into restricted lanes, law enforcers won’t have to guess which illustrious lawmaker decided rules are optional. 

Imagine the thrill as enforcers call in, “We have a ‘7-14’ in the bus lane!”—a touch of drama, like spotting a rare bird! And think of the transparency: citizens would finally know exactly which senator or congressman considers their time too precious for mere traffic laws. After all, nothing says “public servant” quite like adding a few extra numbers to highlight just how above the law they really are.


(Editorial note: an SUV with the “7” plate number entered the exclusive bus way on EDSA last November 3, and when confronted by a traffic enforcer, backed up before speeding away.)