In a recent video message, Filipino Archbishop Socrates Villegas has managed to deliver a masterclass in subtle racism, all while ostensibly encouraging prayer and goodwill.
With a straight face, Villegas urged his flock to pray for the “conversion” of China, making sure to highlight that the Chinese bullies in the South China Sea all have “slanted eyes,” or “singkit” as he so culturally sensitively put it.
It seems the Archbishop has taken a page from the history of phrenology, believing that moral character can be discerned from physical features. Perhaps next week, he’ll be instructing us to pray for people with curly hair or dark skin to find redemption too.
And just to sprinkle some irony on top, he invoked the Blessed Virgin Mary in his borderline xenophobic diatribe, showcasing a level of un-Christian behavior that even Pontius Pilate might find a tad excessive.
Ah, the cherished tradition of water-dousing during the feast of St. John the Baptist—an age-old ritual where merriment meets mayhem, and unsuspecting pedestrians meet unexpected drenchings.
In this era of acute water shortages and skyrocketing utility bills, one must ponder: is it time to retire this aquatic assault? While it’s undeniably a splash of cheap fun for the dousers, the drenched might find their wallets drying up faster than their soaked clothes.
Consider the hapless jeepney passenger whose laptop and smartphone met their untimely demise under a deluge of unholy H2O. Important school papers and official documents? Also casualties in this hydro-havoc. Let’s face it, no amount of praying to St. John will bring those waterlogged gadgets back to life.
Perhaps it’s time for the church and local governments to innovate—a mandatory shower day, promoting hygiene without the collateral damage. After all, cleanliness is next to godliness, isn’t it?
In an unsurprising twist, SMNI News, the now-defunct mouthpiece for Kingdom of Jesus Christ Pastor Apollo Quiboloy, has gone full Orwellian.
With its franchise revoked, one might think they’d adopt a shred of journalistic integrity. Instead, they’ve descended to new depths, joining the ranks of trolls and vloggers peddling fake news. Their latest fiasco? Broadcasting the Philippine Independence Day Parade in New York as a Maisug rally—an embarrassing blunder showcasing their commitment to disinformation.
SMNI is not stopping there, they’ve conjured up a mythical wave of global netizen support for their beleaguered “appointed son of God,” clamoring for “justice for Quiboloy.” Forget the pressing matter of justice for his alleged victims. In this topsy-turvy world of SMNI, truth is stranger than fiction, and propaganda is par for the course. Shame indeed!
The Adobo Chronicles 
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