In a baffling display of maritime evangelism, two Pangasinan bishops set sail across the contentious waters of the South China Sea, or as we patriotically call it, the West Philippine Sea.

With rosaries in hand and contradictions in their hearts, they petitioned divine intervention for Filipino fishermen’s livelihoods, only to pray for China’s conversion to Catholicism in the same breath.

And just when you thought their mission couldn’t be more muddled, Archbishop Socrates Villegas declared, “the sea is not ours.” Ah, the clarity of divine guidance! Perhaps the bishops’ vessel was equipped with a spiritual compass that only points to confusion.

Instead of navigating geopolitical waters, maybe it’s best they steer their efforts back to dry land, focusing on the spiritual needs of their flock. After all, when it comes to mixed messages, the Church seems to have perfected the art.