Oh, the Dutertes, masters of the “deny today, run tomorrow” strategy.

Remember when Rodrigo Duterte swore up and down he had no interest in the presidency back in 2016? Surprise! There he was, in Malacañang, making headlines.

Fast forward to 2022, and his daughter Sara echoed the family mantra: no national post for her. Cue the campaign posters.

Now, Sara’s at it again, forecasting a future where her dad and siblings dominate the Senate in 2025 and Baste aims for the presidency in 2028. Of course, Rodrigo assures us this is all nonsense.

If history teaches us anything, it’s to keep our ballots ready. The Dutertes’ political ambitions seem to follow a simple rule: if they say they aren’t running, brace yourself for their candidacy announcement. Liars, liars, indeed—pants perpetually on fire — in the heat of electoral ambition.

In a shocking turn of events, the Philippine Congress is gearing up for a potential influx of peculiar new Partylists vying for seats in the lower house.

Following the formation of the Nanay Partylist, new contenders have emerged: Tatay Partylist, Anak Partylist, Lola Partylist, and Apo Partylist. These familial factions promise to bring every generation’s concerns to the legislative table.

Meanwhile, the Extrovert Partylist is set to balance the introverted tendencies of the existing Alona Partylist.

However, the real seismic shock is the Marites Partylist, spearheaded by high-profile vloggers Jay Sonza, Rigoberto Tiglao, Krizette Laureta Chu, Mark Lopez, Sass Rogando Sasot, and Claire Eden Contreras, aka Maharlika. These influencers reportedly sealed their alliance with a dramatic blood compact using diabetic prick needles.

With such colorful contenders, the next Partylist polls are bound to be a spectacle of epic proportions. Gird your loins, dear readers; the circus is coming to town.