Category Archives: Military

TOP TEN THINGS TO EXPECT FROM SONA (STATE OF THE NATION ADDRESS)

imageManila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – On Monday, July 28, President Aquino will deliver his 5th State of the Nation Address (SONA), the Philippine equivalent of the U.S. State of the Union (SOTU).

Here are the top ten things to expect from this year’s SONA to be delivered at the House of Representatives Building (Batasang Pambansa).

  1. Aquino has officially renamed it ‘State of NoyNoy Address.’
  2. Only senators and congressmen wearing yellow ribbons will be allowed in the assembly hall.
  3. Senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Bong Revilla, Jr, and Jinggoy Estrada will be participating by skype from their jail cells.
  4. Aquino will begin his address by apologizing to Noranians for snubbing their idol Nora Aunor in the naming of National Artists.
  5. In an unprecedented move, Aquino’s showbiz sister, Kris, will be seated at the dais, next to the podium where the president will be speaking from.
  6. All the justices of the Supreme Court will be seated in the back row of the assembly floor as punishment for ruling that Aquino’s Disbursement Acceleration Program (DAP) is unconstitutional.
  7. Vice President Jejomar Binay will be watching via closed ciruit TV in his senate office; Aquino wants to let Filipinos know  that he is sill in charge.
  8. When Aquino talks about the pork barrel scandal, TV networks will show Janet Lim-Napoles via live cam from her jail cell.
  9. Because Aquino has no accomplishments to report, the SONA will only last for 10 minutes, the shortest presidential SONA ever.
  10. Aquino will declare a recess 5 minutes into his speech for a cigarette break.

TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY VOLUNTEERS TO PATROL U.S.-MEXICO BORDER

Perry on his first day as volunteer border patrol officer
Perry on his first day as volunteer border patrol officer

Austin, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles) – Rick Perry is taking a leave of absence as governor of Texas to volunteer as a patrol officer along the U.S.- Mexico border.

In a press statement issued shortly before leaving his office to assume his volunteer duties, Perry said that he is sick and tired of waiting for the federal government to send more troops to stop the increased border crossings of undocumented immigrants from South and Central America, including hundreds of unaccompanied children.

In a brilliant move that could earn him the Republican nomination for president in 2016, Perry’s last act before his leave of absence was to send 1,000 Texas national guard troops not only to patrol the border, but to protect him as he performs his volunteer work.

During Perry’s leave of absence, the lieutenant governor will assume the role of Texas governor. Staff of the governor’s office, however, couldn’t exactly remember who the current Lt. Governor is, but at least they know his first name is David.

 

SARAH PALIN’S PROPOSAL TO SOLVE THE U.S. BORDER CRISIS: REINSTATE THE DRAFT

Sarah Palin: image of a strong president?
Sarah Palin: image of a strong president?

Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – Former vice presidential candidate and Alaska governor Sarah Palin appears to be stealing the limelight from her fellow Republicans who are in official positions in government.

First, she challenged Congress to impeach Barack Obama for what she called “illegal activities” of the president — from Obamacare, to Benghazi, to the VA healthcare scandal.  She thought members of Congress do not have “the guts” to initiate impeachment proceedings.  That didn’t sit well with Speaker John Boehner and other Republican leaders.

Now, fed up with the U.S. immigration issue capped in recent weeks by the border crisis involving unaccompanied children from Central America, Palin proposed what she thinks is the perfect solution:  reinstate the draft.

For more than 50 years, Selective Service and the registration for America’s young men have served as a backup system to provide manpower to the U.S. Armed Forces.  From 1948 until 1973, during both peacetime and periods of conflict, men were drafted to fill vacancies in the armed forces which could not be filled through voluntary means.  The draft formally ended in 1973.

Palin’s idea is to deploy American citizens recruited through the draft to line the entire perimeter of all U.S. borders with Mexico. Based on her expert calculation, the most effective way to deter unauthorized U.S. entry  through the borders is to station one draftee for every five feet of the border. “Now, that would make it impossible for unauthorized immigrants to slip through,” she said. “It will be a round-the-clock guarding and surveillance of the borders, with the draftees working on 8-hour shifts,” she added.

The U.S.-Mexico border spans a total of 1,954 miles or 10,317,120 feet.  With a draftee stationed every 5 feet, the border would need 2,063,424 draftees at any given time. Multiplied by three, 8-hour shifts, the total personnel required to secure the border is 6,190,272.

With her recent public statements, many suspect that Palin is trying to resurrect her visibility in preparation to run for president in 2016. She was quoted recently saying that if she became president, women will be included in the draft.  “I believe in equality,” she said.