Category Archives: Media

Chiz Escudero Appoints Himself Designated Survivor!

In an unexpected twist, Senate President Chiz Escudero has declared himself the designated survivor, minutes after Vice President Sara Duterte’s departure for Germany.

“It doesn’t matter that I am already second in line in the presidential succession per the Constitution,” Escudero stated confidently. He further elaborated, “I am just following the good example of Duterte to make sure we got all bases covered just in case.”

Sources close to Escudero reported that he has already begun drafting emergency speeches and practicing his best stoic expressions.

Political analysts are baffled by this move, with some speculating that Escudero is merely ensuring his name stays in the headlines.

Meanwhile, President Marcos Jr., seemingly amused by the turn of events, has reportedly ordered some special popcorn to enjoy the ensuing drama.

The nation watches in anticipation, wondering what other innovative constitutional interpretations might emerge from the Senate next.

Maisug Liwasang Bonifacio: People Power Or Zumba Class?

Adobo Chronicles Exclusive: SMNI Excluded From SONA!

In a shocking turn of events, SMNI News has been banned from covering President Bongbong Marcos’ SONA next week. The announcement was made by no less than P1 Million per month-paid consultant Jay Sonza, who confirmed the news in a Facebook post.

The reason for the ban remains unclear, but speculation is rife that it involves a mix-up with their press credentials and an overzealous security guard.

Meanwhile, in an unexpected twist of fate, Rappler has been granted accreditation to cover the event. The irony of the situation is not lost on the public, as the once-embattled news outlet is now set to report on the very administration that has had its share of contentious moments with the media.

Oh, how the world turns. Stay tuned to The Adobo Chronicles for more updates on this developing story.