Category Archives: Media

Spox Harry Roque And Asec Mocha Uson Agree To Tutor Each Other

7E0FC9E8-BE71-4A5B-BC4D-0D28B4DFAC01MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Tutoring is a two-way street.

We all remember newly-appointed Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque saying that going forward,  Asec Mocha Uson will be under his tutelage, especially when it comes to the important role of mainstream media.

Uson sees no problem with being tutored by Roque.  In fact, she also volunteered to tutor Roque on how to properly apply makeup.

The Spox agreed after being shown a photo of himself with Uson and President Duterte on board the plane that took them to Vietnam. The illusion of natural rosy cheeks didn’t quite work out, unfortunately.

 

 

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Maria Ressa: ‘Rappler Helped To Elect Duterte’

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Rappler’s Ressa, left, and Pia Ranada

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – This is NOT fake news. Maria Ressa really said that Rappler’s coverage of Rodrigo Duterte’s campaign helped get him elected.

She proclaimed this to the entire world at an Awards Dinner sponsored by the National Democratic Institute held in Washington, D.C.

We will leave it to our readers and followers to provide the satire in this story.

 

 

Pan de Sal Sales Up, Thanks To Presidental Spokesperson Harry Roque

752B3A8B-A89C-44C2-9AB3-72BDE10E50CD.jpegMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Bakeries and grocery stores across the country are reporting a sharp increase in pan de sal sales in just the last 24 hours.

They have Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque and Philippine Star to thank.

Roque was earlier quoted for his threat to throw hollow blocks at those who are critical of the Duterte administration.  But at a press briefing yesterday, he softened his rhetoric, defended mainstream journalists and urged pro-Duterte socmed warriors to go easy on the likes of Rappler’s Pia Ranada.

PhilStar then published an account of the press briefing saying that Roque, instead of throwing hollow blocks, threw pan de sal.

The National Food Authority may have to increase its wheat importation to meet the increased demand for the favorite Filipino breakfast bread.