Category Archives: Law Enforcement

Law Enforcement, Legislation, Politics, Social Media

Who’s Choking On Apple Now?

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Well, well, well—who’s choking on an apple now?

In the final days of the 2025 election circus, Sara Duterte, never one to shy away from poetic death threats, proposed that Rep. Joel Chua be fed an apple whole—preferably to a terminal conclusion. But fate, that cheeky little prankster, had other plans. Not only did Chua survive the fruit-based fatwa, he thrived—crunching the opposition and taking a big, juicy bite out of reelection.

Now he’s presiding as one of the prosecutors in the Senate impeachment trial of none other than Vice President Sara herself. Irony called, and it brought snacks. The very man she wanted silenced with Granny Smith is now the one reading her political obituary with legal flair. Turns out, apples are healthiest when chewed, not weaponized. Sara might want to rethink her produce strategy—next time, maybe bananas? They’re easier to swallow when karma comes around.

Government, International, Law Enforcement, Politics, Social Media

Duterte Arrest: Which Came First, The Chicken Or The Egg?

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Ah, the age-old question: what came first, the chicken or the egg?

In the case of Rodrigo Duterte’s ICC arrest, the chicken clucked somewhere between Trillanes’s press conference and Alejano’s eyebrow raise. Yet here we are, hurling eggs at the Marcos administration for what netizens are calling an “illegal surrender.” Illegal? Surrender? Sounds more like they just followed the breadcrumb trail left by two ex-legislators with a flair for international paperwork.

And now, Trillanes and Alejano sit back, popcorn in hand, watching the circus unfold like it’s Netflix’s newest political thriller.

Meanwhile, the Marcoses—who, for once, didn’t start the fire—are being roasted for bringing marshmallows. It’s like blaming the waiter for the food poisoning when it was Trillanes who cooked the dish. Justice? Maybe. Irony? Absolutely. So before we crucify the egg-boiler, let’s not forget who laid that golden egg in The Hague in the first place.

International, Law Enforcement, Politics, Social Media

Malcolm Conlan Does Not Represent Filipino Sentiment

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Malcolm Conlan, the self-declared “British voice of the Filipinos,” has once again emerged from his Barong Tagalog wardrobe to remind us—unsolicited—that he feels Filipino.

Armed with nothing but a Filipino wife, a Facebook page, and the audacity of colonial hangover, he writes open letters like it’s 1898 and he’s the viceroy of our collective sentiment. He takes selfies with Duterte and supporters as though they’re constitutional credentials.

But Malcolm, buddy, wearing a Barong doesn’t grant you a seat in the Senate of Filipino opinion. It’s fashion, not naturalization. And let’s be honest—just because you initiated dozens of online petitions doesn’t mean you speak for 110 million people. You can love the Philippines all you want (Mabuhay!), but nationalism isn’t cosplay. Concern is welcome, but claiming a mandate? That’s as British as thinking tea solves everything.

Also, friendly reminder: Duterte is not the Philippines, and neither are his fans. Sip that with your salabat.