Category Archives: Health & Medicine

Senator Ted Cruz Admitted To Hospital

Cruz
Cruz

CONCORD, New Hampshire (The Adobo Chronicles)- The campaign trail is proving to be grueling for Senator Ted Cruz, Republican presidential candidate.

After giving a speech before college students in New Hamphire, he complained about a mild headache and blurred vision, prompting his campaign staff to call the paramedics.

He was taken on an ambulance to a nearby private hospital. There, Emergency Room nurses took his blood pressure reading,  gave him an EKG test, was given an aspirin, then rolled him into a private room reserved for VIP patients.  He was hooked up to an oxygen machine and was administered a liquid infusion as a preventive measure for dehydration.

Three of the hospital’s top doctors took turns in evaluating his condition. Complete blood and urine tests were administered.

Cruz then went through a chest x-ray and then a full-body CT scan.

As a precautionary measure, doctors recommended an emergency colonoscopy which was immediately performed.

When the senator recovered from sedation, the hospital’s chief doctor was at his bedside to deliver the news:  ‘You’re fine, just a little fatigue.  We can now release you.”

On his way out, he dropped by the hospital’s accounts payable department to settle his bill.

To his surprise, the hospital staff told him his total bill was zero, and that it’s been fully paid for.

“By whom?” the senator asked.

“By your health insurance, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Texas,” he was told.

It was ironic that just minutes before he was rushed to the E.R., Cruz he told a campaign audience that he had no health insurance because President Barack Obama’s health care law caused the cancellation of his coverage.

 

 

DOCTORS: POPE FRANCIS NOW SELFITIS-FREE

imageTHE VATICAN, Italy (The Adobo Chronicles) – Soon after Pope Francis’ first-ever selfie was posted on The Vatican’s Instagram account, a team of Italian doctors comfirmed that the leader of the Roman Catholic Church indeed caught the selfitis bug.

The medical team immediately prescribed a high dosage of antibiotics to the Pontiff, and enrolled him in a Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) class in Rome.

Today, the doctors announced that the medication and therapy worked very well. Pope Francis is now selfitis-free.

Learn more about selfitis, a mental disorder,  as defined by the American Psychiatric Association.

U.S. SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: TEXTING CAUSES NUMB THUMB

imageBETHESDA, Maryland (The Adobo Chronicles) – In his first major health warning since assuming the post of U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy has confirmed that texting is detrimental to the health of Americans.

“The repetitive movement of the thumbs while texting causes nerve damage similar to that of carpal tunnel,” Murthy said. “It is a condition known as numb thumb, which, like the name suggests causes people’s thumbs to become numb and almost paralyzed,” he added.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has reported an increasing number of numb thumb cases in the U.S. and is afraid that it will turn into an epidemic.

Since the onset of modern mobile technology, texting has replaced phone calls, letter writing and in-person conversations as the primary mode of communication, and many smart phone owners, especially younger people, have developed amazing skills in speed texting.

The Surgeon General has recommended that Americans limit their texting to no more than 15 minutes a day to avoid nerve damage and numbness in the thumb.

Among the notable Surgeon General warnings in the past came from the late C. Everett Koop who confirmed that smoking causes cancer and that condoms can prevent HIV infection.