MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Philippine Foreign Affairs Secretary Teddy Boy Locsin got the surprise of his life when he received a 3 a.m. (3 p.m. U.S. East Coast time) phone call on Monday (Sunday in Washington, D.C.) from U.S. President Donald Trump.

Locsin is facing ridicule for his recent tweet that seemed to suggest that ingesting or injecting soap could protect Filipinos from COVID-19 since as toddlers they ate soap in the tub and their angry patents washed their mouths with soap.

Trump was similarly criticized for suggesting in a White House press briefing that Americans could be protected from the coronavirus by ingesting or injecting disinfectants.

The Adobo Chronicles obtained a transcript of the two-minute conversation which we are now sharing with our readers and followers:

TRUMP: Hello Teddy Boy, how are you my friend?

TBL: Doing well, Mr. President. It’s an honor to receive a phone call from the greatest leader on earth!

TRUMP: Cut the crap, I already know that. So I heard you’re being bashed for you recent tweet about soap?

TBL: Yes, Mr. President. The news media and netizens don’t get sarcasm.

TRUMP: Those idiots. Fake news, especially that CNN.

TBL: I know, hahaha.

TRUMP: But Teddy, what if injecting or ingesting disinfectants or soap actually worked to stop the spread of the coronavirus?

TBL: Then we’d be famous and we’ll make it to the history books!

TRUMP: I will, but you won’t. You’re just a copycat.

TBL: Whaaat?

TRUMP: You’re a good-for-nothing, obscure, self-obsessed little man from some third world country. You’re bad, very bad. You’re a disgrace to my good friend Rody Dutertey.

TBL: Haha, Mr. President. I like your sense of humor.

TRUMP: That wasn’t a joke, you idiot!

TBL: Well you go to hell, Donald Duck! You know that tweet of mine about soap? I was being sarcastic about you and your stupidity!

(End of phone call.)