The Commission on Elections (Comelec), in its infinite wisdom and impeccable time management, has once again proven that its priorities are as clear as mud. Instead of swiftly addressing blatant campaign violations—like candidates practically throwing money at voters like it’s a game of Pera o Bayong—it has decided that the best use of its resources is to educate a noon-time variety show contestant about its role. Because, obviously, the fate of our democratic process hinges on whether a clueless TV personality finally understands what Comelec does.
Meanwhile, reports of vote-buying are piling up like uncounted ballots, and campaign violations are waved off with all the urgency of a turtle on vacation. But hey, at least we can all sleep soundly knowing that one more lost soul now knows that Comelec is not a brand of tissue paper. Priorities, right?
(AC geopolitical correspondent Brian Neyra contributed to this report)
Zelensky ignored The White House Protocol Office’s request for him to wear a suit.
Trump was all the more outraged upon learning Zelensky bought his black, military-style outfit from Temu instead of Amazon.
Zelensky didn’t come with an interpreter. Trump and Vance couldn’t quite understand the Ukrainian president with his heavy accent.
First Lady Melania Trump prepared some tea and cookies for Mrs. Zelensky who was a no-show.
Zelensky didn’t come with a pleasing gift for Trump. No vodka. Not even Easter eggs. Zelensky just presented Trump with the championship belt of Ukrainian boxer Oleksandr Usyk.
Whenever Trump spoke, The White House web site was overwhelmed with “haha” emojis, compared to the hearts and thumbs up whenever Zelensky was speaking.
Vance was bitter that Zelensky never said “thank you” to his boss for U.S. help extended to Ukraine which Trump had absolutely nothing to do with.
Zelensky, during The White House welcome ceremony, executed a Sieg Heil salute to the U.S. flag.
Elon Musk’s son who was in the Oval Office during the visit, cried in fear upon seeing Zelensky.
A member of the press was overheard saying that Zelensky was more good-looking than Trump and Vance combined.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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