Our senior geopolitical correspondent Brian Neyra caught up with Tim Cook who was on his way back to California and he asked the Apple CEO about what he thinks of that Filipino delicacy lumpiang Shanghai. Here was his response:
It goes without saying that a beauty pageant title boils down to the final Q&A. Many beautiful women make it to the final five only to have their quest for the crown crumble in their response to that one question.
So, the Miss Universe Philippines is leaving no stone unturned when it comes to training contestants to shine during those final moments of pageant night.
Our fly on the wall tells us that training for the upcoming May pageant is in full swing. Contestants are brought to Jollibee outlets to hone their skills on Q&A.
Here is how one contestant fared during a visit to Jollibee:
What’s your order maam?
“Thank you for that wonderful question. To order in Jollibee is both an honor and a responsibility. If I were to order, I would use my voice to choose C1 with Coke upgraded to Large, which is timely and relevant to my country which is the Philippines. I want to show the world, the universe rather, that Jollibee Chickenjoy is the most crispy-licious and juicy-licious chicken with a heart.”
Thank you. 🍗
(CTTO: Mark I.)
Ah, Benny Blanco, the epitome of untamed expression and questionable hygiene.
His recent escapade of trashing Jollibee might have elicited chuckles, but his unkempt appearance invites more scrutiny than his antics.
One wonders what Selena Gomez saw in this disheveled figure, with hair resembling uncooked spaghetti dipped in fish sauce, and a face that screams “I haven’t seen a shower in weeks.” Perhaps she has a fondness for projects in dire need of a makeover.
While Blanco may spew foul language with gusto, one can’t help but imagine his breath follows suit, especially after all the foods he ingests in his videos.
Jollibee’s sweet spaghetti, despite its polarizing reception, looks positively appetizing compared to the spectacle of Benny Blanco.
Let’s hope Selena steers clear of any hair caressing during intimate moments, for fear of encountering a tangled mess ripe with mystery odors.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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