In an ironic twist of fate, America’s long-standing “One-China” policy has come back to bite them at the 2024 Paris Olympics.
For years, the U.S. has tiptoed around the diplomatic tightrope, acknowledging Beijing’s claim over Taiwan and Hong Kong while quietly supporting their separate identities on the global stage.
But when it comes to the Olympic medal tally, suddenly, China’s narrative becomes convenient. By folding the medals won by Taiwan and Hong Kong into the People’s Republic of China’s count, Beijing surged past the U.S. in the standings, much to the chagrin of American officials.
So, while the U.S. may have played the game of “strategic ambiguity” for decades, they certainly weren’t prepared for this masterclass in Olympic scoreboard manipulation. It seems the “One-China” policy, once a tool of diplomacy, has become a golden (and silver, and bronze) trap for American pride.
In a truly heartwarming twist of fate, 22 Filipino athletes became instant millionaires—not by sheer luck in the lottery, but by the grace of President Bongbong Marcos, who, in a grand ceremony at Malacañang, handed out checks like they were certificates of attendance in a conference.
These athletes, fresh from the Paris Olympics, were lauded not for the number of medals they brought home but for the opportunity to bask in the presidential spotlight. Some say it’s a win-win: the athletes get a taste of the good life, and the government gets to bask in their reflected glory.
Who needs gold medals when you can cash in on presidential generosity? After all, it’s not every day that one gets rewarded for simply showing up—and in the Philippines, that’s the real victory. Forget the Olympics; this is the kind of gold that really counts!
In a shocking twist, the University of the Philippines (UP) has decided to scrap its wildly popular Taylor Swift course!
The Board of Regents, after much deliberation, announced a pivot to a specialized course on genealogy at the Diliman campus. This move follows the Internet’s frenzy over Filipinos tracing connections to Olympic athletes worldwide in a bid to lay some claim to their medals.
“We’ve noticed a growing obsession with discovering any possible Filipino roots,” a spokesperson explained. “From athletes to beauty queens, it’s a national pastime to lay claim to global successes.”
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The new course aims to equip students with the skills needed to trace their ancestry and uncover those elusive connections. “Why settle for Taylor Swift’s lyrics when you can unearth a cousin who won gold in the javelin?” quipped a regent.
Thus, UP prepares to dive deep into the tangled roots of national pride, one family tree at a time.
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