All posts by Pol Pinoy

Donald Trump’s DOGE – Department Of Government Excesses?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the United States of Efficiency, where the government is streamlined, agencies are vaporized, and bureaucrats are sent packing faster than you can say “executive order.” At the helm of this grand experiment in minimalist governance is none other than Donald Trump’s Department of Government Efficiency—or as the cool kids (and stock traders) call it, DOGE.

And who better to run it than Elon Musk, a man who has successfully rebranded everything from cars to space travel to flamethrowers? Now, he takes on his greatest challenge yet: making the federal government run like a Tesla—meaning it’ll be sleek, self-driving, and occasionally burst into flames.

Trimming the Fat… and the Meat… and the Bones

Under DOGE, nothing is safe from the chopping block. Social Security? Too socialist. Environmental Protection Agency? The environment can protect itself. Public schools? Time to move all education to X.com University. Even the IRS is under review—because who likes paying taxes anyway?

Trump has made it clear: the goal of DOGE is to make government so efficient that it hardly exists at all. This is, of course, fantastic news for libertarians and billionaires, but slightly concerning for anyone who enjoys roads, clean air, or having laws.

Department of Government Excesses?

Some critics have suggested renaming DOGE to the Department of Government Excesses, since its true mission seems to be cutting government down to the size of a DOGE meme—funny, chaotic, and questionably useful. After all, if there’s one thing the Trump administration has never been shy about, it’s slashing anything that even hints at helping the average American.

Healthcare? Privatized. Immigration? Blocked. National parks? Up for auction (possibly to Musk himself, who may rename Yellowstone to Xstone). The Department of Education? “We’ll just let AI teach the kids!”

But What About the Dogecoin?

Of course, some Americans are confused, thinking DOGE stands for Dogecoin—because, let’s be honest, that’s what Elon Musk really cares about. There are even rumors that Social Security checks will soon be converted to Dogecoin, making them technically still a thing, just much less valuable.

A Future Without Red Tape—or Any Tape at All

So, what does the future hold under DOGE? Well, by 2026, we may be living in a world where:

   •   The DMV is replaced by an app called X-Car that only works 40% of the time.

   •   The Pentagon is rebranded as SpaceX Defense, with all funding redirected toward building a Mars colony for the wealthy.

   •   The U.S. Postal Service? Gone. If you can’t afford Amazon Prime Ultra, good luck getting mail.

The Bottom Line

Trump’s DOGE is not just a government agency—it’s a vision. A vision where government is so lean that it might actually disappear. Whether that’s a utopia or a dystopia depends on how much you enjoy having public services. But one thing’s for sure: if efficiency means firing 90% of federal employees while replacing Social Security with Dogecoin airdrops, then DOGE is already the most efficient department in U.S. history.

HODL on tight, America.

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done (on the Senate Floor as it is in Heaven)

(AC team member Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)

As the 2025 campaign season heats up, politicians are once again proving that the road to public office is paved with divine interventions—at least in their minds. From Pastor Apollo Quiboloy’s senatorial aspirations (because apparently, God’s will includes parliamentary immunity) to Senate President Chiz Escudero likening Sara Duterte’s impeachment woes to the Passion of Christ, it seems the Almighty has His hands full managing Philippine politics.

If every candidate claiming divine endorsement were telling the truth, heaven’s political party list must be more crowded than a Manila EDSA bus at rush hour. Perhaps it’s time to dissolve the Comelec and let churches handle elections. Imagine it: confession booths doubling as voting stations, indulgences as campaign donations, and excommunications for vote-buying. The homily could be replaced with a presidential debate, and instead of surveys, we’d rely on prophetic visions (or at least divine audits of campaign funds).

But let’s be real—if holiness guaranteed victory, we’d have saints in Congress. Instead, we have… well, what we have. So come Election Day, let’s pray for wisdom—but also remember that ballots, not miracles, determine who gets to serve (or self-serve) in government. Amen?

Gulf Of America: Donald Trump’s Parenthetical, Half-Victory

In a bold, unprecedented move, former President Donald Trump issued an executive order renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America,” proving once again that if you don’t like reality, you can simply rebrand it. The decision was met with a mix of confusion, laughter, and a collective eye-roll from geographers worldwide.

Unfortunately for Trump, Google Maps, the true arbiter of geographical legitimacy, merely added “Gulf of America” in parentheses next to “Gulf of Mexico,” making it the cartographic equivalent of a pity mention. This half-victory is reminiscent of Trump’s infamous Sharpie-altered hurricane map—where his marker, not meteorology, dictated the storm’s path.

Mexico, meanwhile, had no official response, possibly because they were too busy enjoying the fact that the gulf is, geographically, still theirs. Meanwhile, Florida residents continue calling it “the ocean,” proving that no executive order can override sheer indifference.