Ah, Prof. Anna Malindog-Uy — political analyst, Duterte enthusiast, and now, apparently, high priestess of irony. Her top senatorial pick? None other than Pastor Apollo Quiboloy, the self-proclaimed Son of God currently juggling more charges than a power bank at a music festival. Sure, he’s “innocent until proven guilty,” but so is every Bond villain before the plot unfolds. Still, Malindog-Uy cites his “moral ascendancy” — which, given the accusations of sex trafficking and abuse, feels less like a moral high ground and more like a moral sinkhole.

One wonders: does the good professor use a Magic 8 Ball for political insight or does she just go with whoever’s most likely to benefit her fledgling career as a social media influencer? Either way, if Quiboloy is her moral compass, then perhaps her North points straight to Fantasyland, a place where delusion reigns and accountability takes a very, very long sabbatical.