Monthly Archives: October 2023

Business, Food

The Giant Food Grab!

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In a shocking turn of events, Food Panda, the last vestige of the illusion of choice in the Philippines’ food delivery landscape, is about to make its exit. 

But fear not, for the monopolistic giant GRAB is here to fill the void, ensuring that customers never have to experience the inconvenience of choosing again. 

With GRAB’s imminent food delivery domination, who needs variety or competition? After all, nothing screams free market more than a single player snatching up every slice of the pie, leaving customers with no options but to GRAB whatever they can. 

Bon appétit, Philippines, your choices are now officially GRABBED!

Food, Politics

LumeLeni Or BumoBongGo?

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by Melchor Vergara

Senator Bong Go, ever the trendsetter, has decided to add a dash of flavor to his political career by attempting to appropriate former VP Leni Robredo’s signature “lugaw.” 

Yes, that’s right, the man who has made Malasakit Centers his personal trademark now wants to steal the humble porridge spotlight. 

In this bizarre culinary crossover, it seems that Go is determined to unite the DDS and Dilawan under the banner of “UniTeam” – perhaps a nod to the universal appeal of lugaw. 

Who knows, maybe the next political debate will be settled with a cook-off, and we’ll finally see if lugaw can bridge the political divide!

Social Media

Dateline Zürich: The Game Of Arithmetic

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by Maria Bratikova

You go tank up the 60L Mercedes Benz in minutes and it‘ll drive you up to 600 kms. Depending on the battery, a Tesla can charge from two to ten hours to 5 days to charge fully – and drive the max of 640 kms. 

Let‘s see. . . everybody drives electric cars fromZürich to Hamburg then back, say Tesla – that‘s mostly on the Autobahn – a stretch of 870 kms. It‘ll take 9 hours and 12 minutes to drive . . . While in Hamburg,your battery just pffffft-ed up. Allow yourself an easy 3-5 days to charge on the designated T superchargers along the way. . . there area total of 164 such superchargers in Germany.

In 2021, there‘s a record that says the total of Autobahn stretch in the whole of Germany is 13,192 kilometers.

Correlate these two infos and you see problem: One) the superchargers are NOT arranged in a straight line, and there are a hundred Autobahn combinations to reach Hamburg. Two) You cannot just plug your electric car on any bloody socket to charge it. Three) How big is the cargo hold?

So what to do when charging? Rent another electric car? Or sit on the hood and wait?

Oh, our electric charges went up 80% this current year!

Renewable energy?

Ha ha ha!