Independence Day 2023: Freedom From Grammatical Blunder

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – While the entire Philippine nation was commemorating the 125th Independence Day, the mainstream news media were thinking of breakfast, and perhaps a cup of real strong Barako coffee.

Inquirer, ABS-CBN News and GMA News were all reporting on the Independence Day message of President Bongbong Marcos in which he said, “The heroes of our liberation would be proud to know that we have thrown off the ominous yoke of domination.”

In unison, the news outlets quoted Marcos as having said “yolk.”

The Adobo Chronicles could not independently confirm whether or not the news outlets preferred (egg) yolk from free-range chicken.

“Yoke” is a wooden crosspiece that is fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull.

(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)

Bb. Maharlika Bags Major International Commercial Endorsement Deal!

LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles, Los Angeles Bureau) – Los Angeles-based Filipino Vlogger Bb. Maharlika is finally reaping the fruits of her hard labor.

Admittedly a supporter of then Presidential candidate Bongbong Marcos, Maharlika has turned her coat inside out and is now the No. 1 basher of Marcos and First Lady Liza Araneta Marcos. She’d do anything to attract online engagements, including wrapping a giant (fake) snake around her necki.

Well, Maharlika may have been remotely a choice for an influential position in the Marcos administration (to her great dismay), but a Canadian food company, President’s Choice has stepped up to recognize her.

Maharlika is featured on the packaging of the company’s newest food product, the UBE BOBA (translation: stupid purple yam), a pie variation of the Philippines’ favorite cake.

Congratulations to Maharlika. We look forward to your next big commercial success — perhaps as a celebrity endorser for BOBA TEA?