QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Quezon City Bureau) – After being criticized and ridiculed for her empty public statements filled with “iyong,” “para sa akin,” and repetitive Tagalog clichés. Vice President Leni Robredo has hired a new speechwriter who is undoubtedly an expert in the English language, not to mention having a wide range of expertise in political issues.

The Office of the Vice President (OVP) said that with the new hire, Robredo’s scripted public statements will surely sound more intellectual, coherent and jaw-dropping. “This will definitely catapult her into a leading candidate in the 2022 Philippine Presidential elections,” a spokesperson (not the same speechwriter) for OVP said.

For starters, the new speechwriter which many suspect is an intern trying to finish a communication arts degree at the University of the Philippines in Diliman, issued the first “new and improved” Robredo statement: