MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – He’s been labeled “The Punisher” even before he became president. And rightly so, Rodrigo Duterte has no patience for those who violate the law of the land and has no second thoughts about imposing the appropriate punishment for those found guilty of crime and misdemeanors.
How safe are you under the Duterte administration?
Take the Dutertest and find out. Answer “yes” or “no” to these ten questions and learn about the punishment that goes with each violation.
1. Are you a drug pusher or drug lord?
2. Are you a drug addict?
3. Do you smoke in public?
4. Do you sing Karaoke after 10 p.m.?
5. Do you leave trash in sidewalks or streets in front of your house or business?
6. Do you molest women, or men, when riding in a UV Express?
7. Do you ride in tandem in a motorcycle to snatch handbags and cellphones?
8. Do you answer and talk on your phone while watching a movie inside a theater?
9. Do you accept cash bribes to facilitate government transactions or as a means of extortion?
10. If a minor, do you hangout in streets or parks after 10 p.m.?
If you answered “yes” to Q 1: Capital punishment
If you answered “yes” to Q 2: Rehab for life
If you answered “yes” to Q 3: You will be forced to swallow your cigarette butt
If you answered “yes” to Q 4: You will be asked to chew a spoonful of Thai chillies or siling labuyo for each violation
If you answered “yes” to Q 5: You will be forced to pick up trash from end to end of EDSA everyday for one year
If you answered “yes” to Q 6: Mutilation
If you answered “yes” to Q 7: You will be forced to ride naked on MRT or LRT every day for one year
If you answered “yes” to Q 8: Confiscation of your cell phone and cancellation of your senior card or postal ID
If you answered “yes” to Q 9: You will be used as a human shield by the Philippine military during encounters with Abu Sayyaf
If you answered “yes” to Q 10: You will be handcuffed to one of your parents or guardian for six months
IF YOU ANSWERED “NO” TO ALL OF THE ABOVE, halleluia, you’re a law-abiding citizen and you will gain favor with President Duterte!