NASA’S DISCOVERY OF WATER ON MARS A HOAX!

Water on Mars?
Water on Mars?

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) – How the world (universe) turns! News satire sites are often accused of perpetuating hoaxes that many gullible netizens are quick to believe or pass on as fact.

Today, the National Association of Satire Writers (NASW) discovered that  NASA’s announcement about the discovery of flowing water on Mars was a hoax. Even Rush Limbaugh said so on his syndicated radio program!

The announcement was beamed live on the Internet supposedly from the NASA headquarters in Washington, D.C.  As a matter of fact, it was broadcast from a sound stage inside Universal Studios in Hollywood.

Now we know why not a single news or cable network, outside of NASA TV, covered the NASA announcement live.

It turns out that the whole exercise was staged by 20th Century Fox, distributor of the upcoming film, ‘The Martian’ starring Matt Damon.

The new film is about an astronaut who was a member of the crew  sent to explore the red planet and was somehow left behind, for dead.  Damon’s character actually survived on Mars.

The supposed NASA announcement was part of a multi-million promotion by 20th Century Fox to create a buzz for the film, hoping to make it a record-breaking blockbuster for the fall.

In exchange for participation in the hoax announcement, NASA will receive millions of dollars in donation from 20th Century Fox.  NASA says the money will go towards pursuing its future missions to — where else… Mars!

AFTER A RECORD 25.6 MILLION TWEETS, GMA NETWORK ABRUPTLY CANCELS ALDUB TELESERYE

The tandem known as AlDub (Photo: EB Social Media Department)
The tandem known as AlDub (Photo: EB Social Media Department)

QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles®) – Other than Broadway actress Lea Salonga, there is not one Filipino who does not know about, or follow AlDub, a short soap opera parody pegged as Kalye Serye (Street Series), a regular feature of the noon-time variety show, Eat Bulaga!

AlDub is a fictional love team whose name is derived from a portmanteau of the tandem, Filipino actors Alden Richards and Maine Mendoza (popularly known as Yaya Dub). What makes this love team phenomenal and extra special is that the two developed an on-screen chemistry even without meeting each other in person.  Their interaction happens on split-screen.

On September 5, 2015, the couple finally saw each other in person for the first time, and this was followed by subsequent encounters and dates.  Their second date on September 26, 2015 went down in history as one of the world’s most tweeted event, garnering more than 25.6 million tweets in a single day. That’s more than the 25.1 million tweets sent during Super Bowl XLIX!

Everyone is hooked on AlDub.  The entire nation freezes at noon each time the show is on: government workers and students flock to the cafeterias, Congress suspends its sessions, shops at the malls close for a “lunch break,” bus drivers pull over to the side of the roads, even restaurants suspend meal service – all for the sake of not wanting to miss an AlDub episode.

While GMA Network could not be happier at the monumental success of the series, it has announced — with deepest regrets —  that it would be cancelling the show effective next week.

“We realize that the show is having a devastating impact on productivity and is causing an unnecessary interruption in the daily lives of Filipinos,” GMA chairman and CEO Atty. Felipe L. Gozon, told reporters at a hastily-called press conference.

“It was a very difficult decision to make, but we have a responsibility to uplift the standards of our country by offering shows that contribute to, and not destroy, the moral fiber of our fellow Filipinos. We promise to replace the series with more intelligent programming.”

Upon learning of GMA’s decision to cancel the show, leaders of AlDub fans, also known as the AlDub nation, called for a meeting to plan a huge rally in front of the GMA studios in Quezon City to make known their outrage and disappointment.

MEXICANS SAW A DIFFERENT SUPERMOON

Supermoon sighting in Mexico
Supermoon sighting in Mexico

GUADALAJARA, Mexico (The Adobo Chronicles® ) –  From California to Vermont, Americans were treated Sunday to a once-in-a-blue-moon natural phenomenon : a lunar exclipse featuring a super, blood-red moon.

Facebook, Twitter and Instagram were immediately filled with moon photos taken by proud netizens —  photos that will remain on the Internet in perpetuity.

But south of the U.S. border, Mexicans were reporting a different heavenly sighting — that of an image of Donald Trump smacked in the center of the super moon.

Was this a sign from God, or a billionaire’s manipulation of nature?

We are investigating reports that Trump paid big bucks to have his image projected on the moon through laser technology, as a way to re-ignite his war on Mexicans and immigrants.