POPE FRANCIS TO FILIPINO PRIESTS: ‘GIVE UP YOUR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS, INCLUDING SMART PHONES’

Photo credit: ABS-CBN News
Photo credit: ABS-CBN News

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Pope Francis today celebrated his first mass in his 5-day visit to the Philippines. Attendance was limited to bishops, priests and clergy. (Public masses will be held at the Tacloban Airport and Rizal Park in Manila later this weekend.)

As the pope entered the church for the processional, hundreds of clicks and flashes greeted him, all coming from smart phones of priests and clergy in attendance.

During his homily, Francis admonished the crowd to give up worldy possessions, in accordance with their priestly vows. “Yes, and that would include your smart phones,” the pontiff said.

There was a eerie silence inside the church that one could almost hear a pin drop.

Asked whether he will heed the Pope’s advice, one of those in attendance, Father Damaso de la Cruz told The Adobo Chronicles, “Absolutely. But first I will have to download the photos I took of the Holy Father into my laptop computer.”

LOST AND FOUND: POPE FRANCIS’ SKULLCAP NOW SELLING ON EBAY

Pope Francis upon arrival at Villamor Airbase in Manila
Pope Francis upon arrival at Villamor Airbase in Manila

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – As if a heavenly sign from the Holy Gust that the Pope has arrived in the Philippines, the skullcap of Pope Francis was blown away by strong winds as he stepped out of the Sri Lanka plane that brought him to Villamor Airbase in Manila.

The skullcap was lost, but is now found. On eBay.

The starting bid was One Million Pesos, but in just a little over an hour, the highest bid has reached Ten Million.

An investigation by The Adobo Chronicles has traced the leading bid to a jail cell in Fort Sto. Domingo in Santa Rosa, Laguna, a few miles south of Manila.

That’s where pork barrel scam mastermind businesswomen Janet Lim- Napoles is being held.

PHILIPPINE PRESIDENT AQUINO TURNS POPE FRANCIS’ VISIT INTO A GRIPE SESSION

imageMANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – Pope Francis yesterday urged an audience of senior political leaders “to reject every form of corruption, which diverts resources from the poor, and to make concerted efforts to ensure the inclusion of every man and woman and child.”

It was was a somber message that put Philippine politicians on notice that the Vatican is well aware of  the corruption that has plaqued this Catholic country in the last several years and beyond.

In contrast, with the Pope looking on, President Aquino complained that local church leaders were  overly critical of him and his administration and that they even ‘gave me unsolicited advice on my hair.’  The balding Aquino who has repeatedly blamed previous administrations for the problems faced by his country today. ‘The church should turn their criticism toward my predecessors,’ Aquino said. Immediate past President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo is under hospital arrest for corruption charges while her predecessor, now Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada, was convicted and jailed for similar offenses but later pardoned by Arroyo.

In response to Aquino’s gripe, the Pope told him, “Blessed are those that that love their political enemies, for they shall achieve eternal power in heaven. Blessed are those who are criticized for thinning hair, for they shall receive a full head of hair in heaven.”

Aquino was heard whispering to the Pope: ‘Amen.’