USPS’ ANSWER TO AMAZON’S DRONE DELIVERY: ‘RABBIT EXPRESS’

imageWashington, DC – The big news this week was Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos’ announcement that the future of package delivery would be the unmanned drone. It has generated both jitters and excitement in government circles and the business community because of its impact on airspace security and potential for crime as well as the efficiency of the shipping industry.

Today, the United States Postal Service (USPS) announced its response to Amazon’s drone delivery.  It is calling it the Rabbit Express, not to be confused with the bus service to and from New York City.

For many years now, USPS has been plaqued with financial problems due to competition from shipping services like UPS and FedEx as well as the  ease and popularity of emails versus postal delivery.

Unknown to many, USPS has been developing a new delivery service that would be faster and cheaper than all the services it currently offers while eliminating the need for mail delivery (human) personnel.

Classified documents obtained by The Adobo Chronicles revealed that USPS has been training herds and herds of rabbits which, with the aid of computer chips, could deliver letters and flat envelopes to addresses within a 50-mile radius of post offices in less than 20 minutes.  The documents showed that the cost of the Rabbit Express would be 50% less than what USPS now charges for flat-rate priority mail. The secret training farm is located somewhere in Arizona.

If it fits the size and weight of the rabbit, it ships!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.