Tag Archives: Undocumented Immigrants

International, Law Enforcement

11 MILLION UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS RECEIVE U.S. GREEN CARDS

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imageWashington, D.C. – An estimated eleven million undocumented immigrants now living in the United States have started receiving notices in the mail to report to their nearest Citizenship and Immigration Services  centers for immediate processing of their green cards. While the Department of Homeland Security and the State Department have both denied sending such notices, officials admit that from all indicatons, the letters seemed authentic and did originate from Homeland Security’s visa processing centers across the country.  As such, the officials said they have no choice but to honor the notices and instructed immigration centers to start processing the green cards.

The Adobo Chronicles learned from reliable sources that a group of hackers was able to infiltrate the State Department and DHS computers and reset their systems to change the status of all undocumented immigrants to “legal.”

The hackers apparently got the idea after seeing the film, “Elysium.”  In the movie, disease and poverty-stricken planet earth people are all wanting to be transported to a circular space station built and occupied by wealthy former earthlings. The station has the capability of curing any disease. However, only documented citizens of Elysium can enter the space station.  Hackers then succeeded in re-booting Elysium’s data center and with the click of a button, automatically made all earth people citizens of the man-made circular planet.

Politics

UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS EXTEND AMNESTY TO GEORGE W. BUSH

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BushDallas, Texas – A coalition of immigrant rights organizations across the U.S., acting on behalf of 11 million undocumented immigrants, today extended amnesty to former President George W. Bush.  This unprecedented action by the immigrants, in effect, forgives the former president for all the lies and illegal acts committed during his 8-year term.  Many of Bush’s words and actions during his presidency hurt the cause of immigrants and communities of color, including Latinos and Asian Americans.

The grant of amnesty to Bush was prompted by his recent public statement at a naturalization ceremony in  Texas, whereby he expressed his full support for a comprehensive immigration reform bill.  Recently, the U.S. Senate, passed — by a vote of 68-32 –a bill that would strengthen the borders while providing a path to citizenship to the country’s estimated 11 million undocumented immigrants.  The U.S. House of Representatives is now debating the Senate bill, but many conservative Republicans are not happy with the upper chamber’s version because it is tantamount to “granting amnesty to those who have violated this country’s laws.”

In his statement, Bush said, “We can uphold our tradition of assimilating immigrants, and honoring our heritage of our nation built on the rule of law.  But we have a problem.  The laws governing the immigration system aren’t working; the system is broken.”  He urged his fellow Republicans in Congress to address the issue as soon as possible.  It wasn’t clear whether Bush’s urging will have any impact in changing the minds of lawmakers opposed to the path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants.

Meanwhile, the Democrats in Congress have remained silent on the grant of amnesty to the former president.  But sources said that while Democrats  may not want to go as far as granting amnesty to Bush, they are also weary that opposing such move might jeopardize their standing with the Latino and other immigrant communities, especially in the next elections.

As he posed for a photo with newly-naturalized citizens from Nigeria and the Philippines (see photo), the former president was asked for his reaction to the amnesty extended to him.  He simply winked his eye and blurted out, “he he.”

Politics, Same-sex Marriage

HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN FILES CLASS-ACTION SUIT

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imageWashington, D.C. -Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the dominant LGBT organization, has filed a multi-million law suit against the eleven million undocumented immigrants in the U.S. The class-action suit is the first ever filed against millions of defendants. In most cases, it is the other way around — millions suing a single individual or entity.

According to papers filed in the District of Columbia, HRC is suing for copyright infringement involving its “equal sign” logo.  Many will recall that the HRC logo, and variations of it, went viral as Facebook users changed their profile photos to the logo during the weeks prior to the Supreme Court handing down its decisions on the Defense of Marriage Act and Prop 8.

When the U.S. Senate began deliberating on the proposed Comprehensive Immigration Reform Bill – which ultimately passed with a 68-32 vote — millions of undocumented immigrants changed their Facebook profile photos to a graphic that had the number 11 on it. HRC claims that the immigrants simply took the HRC logo and turned it clockwise at 90 degrees. image

In response to an email question from The Adobo Chronicles, a spokesperson who refused to reveal his/her sexual orientation, the HRC rep said it doesn’t matter that an estimated 267,000 LGBTs currently in the U.S. are undocumented. “The integity of the HRC logo is what’s at stake here,” the spokesperson said.

Calls to the 11 million undocumented immigrants for comment on the  law suit have not been returned.