Wall Street, New York City –  Stocks of Mercedes-Benz plummeted to their lowest level ever as the opening bell rang at all trading houses this morning. Listed as Daimler AG , its parent company, Mercedez Benz saw prices drop to under ten dollars per share, compared to its all-time average of almost eighty dollars.

This shocking development  for investors came as  news of Pope Francis’ trip to Brazil filled the front pages of worldwide dailies and made headlines in broadcast news and the social media.  As was widely reported, the Pope continued to refuse to use the bullet-proof popemobile during his appearances in the Catholic country, opting instead to borrow an old Fiat owned by a local Brazilian resident.  As a result, the value of Fiat stocks tripled in just the last 24 hours.

Most of the popemobiles used by previous popes were manufactured by Mercedes-Benz, except for the one used by Pope John Paul during his visit to the Philippines in 1995. It was manufactured by the local Francisco Motors, makers of the colorful jeepneys, kings of the road in all of Metro Manila’s streets and highways.