Tag Archives: Philippines

PHILIPPINES, THE 51ST U.S. STATE?

imageSubic, Philippines – A leaked document from the Philippine Department of Foreign Affairs has revealed secret negotiatons between the United States and the Philippines that could lead to this Southeast Asian country becoming the 51st U.S. state.

The statehood movement, which is not new, stalled in 1992 when street protests by Filipinos eventually led to the closure of all U.S. military bases in the country.

The leak comes  in the wake of a recent request from the U.S. government for an expanded military role in the Philippines under the guise of protecting Philippine interests in its ongoing territorial conflict with China. The request would allow American forces to stay in the Philippines for longer periods of time and be stationed at Philippine military bases.  Critics have immediately protested the request saying, “The American military forces are already enjoying a tourist visa, now they also want a working visa?”

On the other side of the coin, supporters of the statehood movement say that it only makes sense that the Philippines become the 51st  U.S. state, citing the facts that Filipinos already speak English, value the dollar more than the peso (as evidenced by foreign exchange centers in malls and street corners, are addicted to Hollywood movies, and already observe American special days like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. They also pointed out that Filipinos are everywhere around the globe.  This, they said, would further boost America’s presence on the world stage.

In a statement from the U.S. Embassy in Manila, it was also pointed out that making the Philippines the 51st U.S. state would significantly reduce the embassy’s workload in processing tourist, work and immigrant visas for Filipinos.

TWO- FOR-ONE VEHICLE LICENSE PLATES UNVEILED

imageManila, Philippines — It is definitely more fun in the Philippines – exactly as the Department of Tourism advertising mantra says – not only because Filipinos think up of the smartest and sometimes stupid things, but get away with it.

In a surprise move, the country’s Department of Motor Vehicles has actually adopted what was once a smart yet illegal activity, as an official policy.  Effective July 15, 2013, the Department will be issuing two-for-one vehicle licenses whereby citizens or businesses owning two or more vehicles can purchase identical license plates for the price of one. This new policy is expected to solve the problem of many vehicle owners not obtaining the proper license plates because the cost and fees are too expensive.

The new policy is expected to put the Department of Motor Vehicles at odds with the Metro Manila Development Authority, particularly with the latter’s “coding” program.  Under this coding system, motor vehicles whose license plates ending with an odd or even number are prohibited from the streets and highways of Metro Manila on specified days and times of the week. For example, vehicles wth license plates ending in 1 are prohibited on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  Vehicles with license plates ending in 2 are prohibited on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  The system has been in effect for many years as a way to solve the traffic gridlock that’s been the hallmark of Metro Manila’s roadways.

Asked for his reaction to the two-for-once license plates, Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada, who as president of the Philippines was impeached and convicted for corruption, said “I don’t care either way. I am exempted from the coding rules and I always have police car escorts wherever I go so traffic is not a problem for  me.”

Already, some enterprising Filipinos are planning to buy the two-for-one license plates and sell the other for half the price.

FILIPINOS DECRY: “WE WERE ROBBED (AGAIN) OF THE NO. 1 SPOT!”

jeepManila, Philippines – When Miss Philippines Janine Tugonon lost the 2012 Miss Universe crown to Miss U.S.A. Olivia Culpo,  two million Filipinos took to the streets of Manila to protest what they claimed to be unfair judging by the international panel of judges. “Our Miss Philippines was clearly the winner,” proclaimed Elias Batongbakal, one of the protest organizers. “Janine not only showed her amazing poise and beauty.  She also answered the final question with great intelligence and confidence — none of those ‘major, major’ stuff.”  Batongbakal was obviously referring to another Miss Philippines – Venus Raj — who competed in the Miss Universe Pageant in 2010 and lost the crown because of a not -so- smart answer to the final question. janine

On Wednesday, Filipinos took to the streets again, this time to protest the failure of Manila to take the No. 1 spot in an international survey of “The World’s Ten Worst Public Transit Systems.”  Manila came in No. 2, second only to Mumbai.  “We were robbed,” protestors chanted. Protest organizer Elena Katigbak said, “Manila’s public transit system is the worst in the world, hands down! How can they take this great honor away from us?”

Katigbak continued, “Where else in the world can one find colorful funny cars (jeepneys) –complete with gas fragrance and obnoxiously loud stereos —  stinky buses, dilapidated taxi cabs and sardine-packed light railway system? And did I already mention the 24-hour standstill traffic?”

A Manila public official, who requested anonymity to avoid retaliation from his boss at the Department of Public Transportation, said that he suspects the foreign nationals who undertook the survey were probably met at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, whisked into air conditioned limousines with dark tinted windows,  treated with shots of Johnnie Walker Black Label and taken through backstreets inside gated millionaires’ villages before being dropped off at their 5-star hotel in Makati.  “They didn’t see the real public transport system of our Metropolis,” the official said.

As of press time, the Department of Foreign Affairs was reportedly preparing a formal letter of protest to the authors of the survey to demand that Manila be declared No. 1 and rescind the honor earlier given to Mumbai.