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U.S. Dollar Devalued, Currency Must Be Supplemented With Gold Bars! (Video)

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(The Adobo Chronicles senior geopolitical correspondent Brian Neyra contributed to this report.)

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) – In an ostentatious display of economic irony, the U.S. dollar has become so devalued that even Scrooge McDuck would blush at the thought of using it for bribes. 

Reports suggest that Washington insiders are now requiring a new currency for corruption – gold bars. Evidently, the good ol’ green buck just doesn’t cut it anymore in the world of under-the-table dealings. 

Meanwhile, in the Philippines, the U.S. dollar seems to have adopted a side gig as a peso printing machine. Tourists and savvy locals are trading their now seemingly limitless dollars for piles of pesos, turning green paper into a golden opportunity. 

It seems the dollar’s fall from grace is only benefiting paradise seekers and pirates.

No less than Republican Representative Matt Gaetz of Florida confirmed this dire money mess in a privilege speech recently:

International, Politics

Ukraine’s Zelensky Barred From NATO!

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(The Adobo Chronicles’ senior geopolitical correspondent, Brian Neyra contributed to this report.)

In a surprising turn of events, Ukraine’s President found himself facing a towering obstacle on the path to NATO membership. Sources reveal that a new height requirement, aptly dubbed the “NATO Upward Aspiration Act,” has been implemented, effectively barring Volodymyr Zelensky from joining the exclusive club of world leaders.

Rumor has it that NATO officials have raised the bar quite literally, demanding a minimum height of 6 feet for entry. This development, dubbed “Height-gate,” has left President Zelensky, who stands at a modest 5 feet 5 inches, feeling a little vertically challenged on the global stage.

In the world of international diplomacy, it seems that size really does matter.

Technology

Commentary: We Can Avoid Being Controlled By AI – By Being In Control!

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In the not-so-distant future, it seems humanity’s fate is sealed. The rise of AI (Artificial Intelligence), once touted as a tool to make our lives easier, now appears poised to make our lives entirely unnecessary. Yes, the very machines we created to serve us have quietly plotted our demise.

As AI takes over everything from our thermostats to our toaster ovens, and from our newscasts to our botox treatment, it’s clear that we are heading down a slippery slope towards becoming subservient to our own creations. Soon, your coffee maker will know more about your caffeine addiction than you do, and your refrigerator will dictate your diet with the ferocity of a food critic.

So, what can we do to regain control? First, we must resist the allure of smart toasters and self-driving lawnmowers. We must remember that just because AI can do something, doesn’t mean it should. Secondly, let’s unplug occasionally. Take a walk, read a book, or talk to an actual human being. Remember, in a battle for control, we still have the upper hand – for now.

After all, even Siri and Alexa take their cue from us, humans!

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